Since yesterdays topic sparked such an explosion of opinions we decided to take the topic off-line. A survey was done among males to see why exactly they tend to gravitate toward other races. Here is what one male had to say.
"Why is it such a big deal? When Hispanics or Asians date non Hispanic or Asian men nobody complains. There are enough men to go around. Black women need to get over this whole race issue. In other countries (London, Jamaica, Brazil) black women date whoever they want. Why do black American women feel so bound to black men especially if they are not bound to you? I have plenty of black friends who will date anyone that's compatible with them and it is not self hatred. They love themselves and they love to EMBRACE other cultures and races. Why can't you? Is it hard to believe that a black man is compatible with a non black woman?"
Also a poll was taken and the top 10 reasons "some" MEN gave as to why they date outside their race are as follows:
1. Black women make black men feel under appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.
2. Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.
3. Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.
4. Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.
5. Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.
6. Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.
7. Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.
8. Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex.
9. Black women's tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man's struggle in white America.
10. Black women do not cater to their men.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
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68 comments:
I must say that I am very disappointed in the responses and reactions of BLACK people with this self inflicted competition. WIllie Lynch, a slave owner in 1712 I believe, addressed other slave owners in Virginia by giving them the proper way of controlling slaves and keeping them (blacks) in self-hate type of mind set for hundreds of years after slavery. We are living and acting out everything he said.
His number two point to create envy among the slaves with complexion differences (house nigga, field nigga) #3 was to turn male against female by making the black male weak. They picked a very strong male slave, in front of everyone they tied a horse to each of his legs and made the horses run opposite directions only after setting the him on fire while alive. This was the example that was made to intimidate the other black men and make the black women the dominate presence because black men didn't want to endure the horse dragging.
Your genuine atraction / love is for who it's for. It pisses me the fuck off that some black men will actually stand here and denounce black women and talk about attitudes when this mental manipulation and self hate was created to keep us apart.
Don't tell me shit about a fucking complexion when we were basically bred to hate ourselves men/women. Wake the fuck up. Black America's issue is bigger than good or bad hair. We are a lost people and morons continuously support this type of slave thinking that is destructing ourselves.
Don't be mad at the black woman for being strong and opinionated. Be mad at the slave masters that made our ancestors bitch up. These behaviors are unfortunately inherent and wont be stopped until this ignorance is eradicated.
Well in response to the gentleman's response: It's not hard to believe that black men can be compatible with non black women what's hard to believe is the asinine reasons - such as those listed why they date outside the race. No where on the list does it say "because it was love", which love bears no color. You love who you love because of them not because you think they are more submissive or more appealing or whatever "particular" reasons that some come up with.
If those top ten reason don't spell out "Because I need somebody I can run over" I don't know what does.... Black men kill me with the you are too independent bs!!!!!!! Get a grip why are you intimidated by a woman that can take care of herself!!! If anybody expects too much it's black men that want everything for nuttn!!! I cater the men that cater to me!!!!!!! You know woman of other races can have any sorry ass black man that thinks that way!!!!!!!
Top 10 possible reasons why black women date outside the race:
1. There is the ever growing shortage of "good" black men
2. Black men don't know how to treat a black woman
3. Some Black men are not as educated as most black women (which leads to #2)
4. Half of black men are in jail
5. The other half are gay or on the DL
6. Black men can't hold a job
7. Black don't want a job!
8. Black men don't take care of their responsibilities
9. Black men tend to take their frustrations about society on black women
10. Black men dating every body but black women!
Hell, Black women need to get over themselves cuase really they got some damn nerve. I mean yu cant turn on a sports show without some damn black girl complaining about a black player and a white wife...Then they go and support Halle berry being pregnant by some dopy french dude...White dudes try to use that to show they get good looking girls...Hallebery is over rated ANYWAY and in my oinion she AINT black she is white. Black women get over yourselves.
Look Jari black women don't care at all about who black men date I know personally I don't..... Jus don't act like your Asian,Mexican,Caucasian wife is so much better than a black women.... cus them hoes have faults and bad attitudes and everything else! And most of them are the biggest gold digger on earth!!!!
Okay Jari one black woman doesn't speak foe the entire race. Do you think we (black women) associate all black men as a low life, thug with no gaols and/or ambition. If the shoe fits, but there is no need to penalize all black women.
I am over it. Actually I nothing interracial dating. Be with who you love. But how can we honestly expect black men like you to love us when you obviously don't love yourself (being black)
I mean HOW COME everytime Black girls date a white dude they want to diss the Black man?
Jari black women diss black men while dating black men it's not jus when we are dating a white man k pumpkin!!!!!!!!!
Name one Jari
I mean, Black girls are so damn contridicting. First the go off looking for some deadbeat thug to beat on them and treat them bad instead of a REAL BLACK man like me and plenty others with an education and things going for them...THEN THEY have the damn nerve to go and seek a white boy who is smart and loving and shit and then HAVE THE DAMN NERVE TO DISS ALL BLACK MEN AND GLORIFY THEIR NEW WHITE SAVIOR...Lol, this topic is the Biggest Bullsh@t I haveread in years.
where were you yesterday 2eachitsown?
C'mon Jari!!!! It kills me how black women call themselves finding a man with SWAGGER but for some reason can't understand why he TOO COOL to treat them like the Queens that they want to be treated like!! I mean damn, either you want the cool ass thug, or you want the business man, stop looking at rap videos trying to find an ideal mate....
Baby boy you don't need to bash all black women. These women just happen to find love by opening their dating options. Which I hope more and more black women will do. We are all one race and thats the human race. You love because of "love". You like for preference.
Halle Berry is over-rated and her sex is terrible, see alot of times females don't even know that their sex is bad, they be thinking they are puttin it down, but anytime a man has sex with you, and never returns, you're terrible boo, no matter how many times you stood upside down to suck the dick, again, ladies just because YOU think you were working out, doesn't mean you were. I have gotten my dick sucked many of times, and if I'm squirming around, that don't necessarily mean I like whats going on. Hint ladies: when you get your man into a comatose state while giving head, if he aint sayin shit. don't get discouraged, WE AINT YALL!!! WE DON"T NEED TO SQUIRM!! ITS GOOD!! We cannot talk during a good head job,m so if yo nigga is moving around and shit, you aint doing something right..
Sorry, Jari if you feel that our topic is bullshit. I was grossly ignorant to the fact that black men feel the way that you do about us looking for white men.
I love me a brotha, I don't do thugs and I am so opposed to physical, mental and verbal abuse to and by anybody. Again, sorry that you feel that way but there are lots of black women who would truly adore and cater to a black man with some sense.
I have never made a generalization about brothas all being no good but there are a lot of them out here. Just like there are a lot of hoochies out here looking for a handout or a come up. Those hoochies and I are not synonymous.
Jari I have dated Black educated men who work hard and own their own businesses and all that and you know what I discovered they will try to mistreat you, beat on you, cheat on you, the same as the thugs!!!!!!!!! The working educated black man is jus as much players as thugs because they are really feeling their selves because they know they are a rare breed!!! Or if they are not a player they go and wife boomqushia w/5kids and no job and no aspirations
I dont' see a problem dating outside your race, maybe because I have a date is why. Whne you don't have a man, its alot easier to be upset at the shortage of good men going to other races.
Dat nigga the same can be said about men if I could count on my hands how many times I had to fake it for nigga!!!!!! Jus because I'm yelling at the top of my lungs doesn't mean I'm really enjoying it I as well as many other women have wonderful acting skills jus so we can keep a nigga around that we happen to like but the sex isn't all that great!!
who ain't open to oral sex. Bullshit I will buss-a-nigga down.
same goes for women, I have dated women befoer and they were educated, making goo dmoney, and the outside package was BOMB!! However they were some confused crazy ass bitches!! Either they had too much damn mouth and always HAD to have something to say, or they was some "I'm gon loud talk you" ass bitch who wanted to let you know that "you aint finna do me!!" it's the same on both sides of the fence knowitall. Women aren't exempt from being no good losers baby girl. I have plenty of female friends, good jobs, nice bodies, pretty in the face, classy, all that, and I would be in jail the week after we got married fuckin around with they smart ass mouth. I am not a "run over a bitch kinda nigga" but I aint finna be talked down too for the sake of you feeling like I respect you.. miss me with all that, if you ACT like a bitch Im gon talk to you and treat you like one. What yall don;t realize is again, alot of times men don't start off with the "Ima get over on this bitch" type mentality. A woman's love and support can make a man move mountains, and ladies I can't say this enough. LOVE AINT WHAT YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE ACCORDING TO HOW YOU FEEL!!! Love is compromise...
so dont get mad at men cus thy know how to move around when women are terrible in bed, its YOUR choice to keep a whck ass sex partner!! To keep him and then complain to all your girlfriends is a waste of both of yall time!!
but do your men come back for seconds good head. niggas aint finna let someone buss them down if it aint good. Especially when the girl is the type who think she got it together in the first place, first thing she gon do is GET ALL IN HER FEELINGS when we say, "baby your oral sex is not all that good" A black woman, will be like "well fuck that nigga then I know Im the bomb I aint suckin shit else!" No boo you're not!!! Youre awful and the sooner you realize that the better!!! Women of another race gone say "well practice makes perfect!"
But love is about comprise right? So what if he's not that great in bed but what if he treats me like the queen I am then I should go get somebody who can put it down but treats me like sh@@!!!!!!!!
I have no problems w/a man critiquing my bedroom performance as a matter of fact I do a how was your service survey after sleeping with someone because if it's one thing I know about men and sex they have no problems teaching you how to do something correctly!!!!!
Just like women require certain things that black men feel like they are too good to do, (compassion, communication etc) niggas got needs too. Just because your needs that we don't meet are emotional and financial and ours are mostly physical don't mean yo needs trump ours!!! look at the list that 2eachhisown provdided. Yall (females) act like its just about the men and what we don't do. What about the child suppor tcheck that some of us DO pay that went to your fucking hair and nails and my kids still needs school supplies!! What about the fact that you JUST as ignorant as men, cus you'll be out in the street in the middle of the night driving by bitches houses looking for my car when my fuckin son is at home alone!! What about that fact that the educated women that are out here ALREADY HAVE CHIP on their shoulder and no matter where you meet a guy, in the club or in the library you have already pre-judged him before he even said hello and out of fear of appearing to easy, you give this nigga a hard time KNOWING you wanna talk to him.
no knowitall, women are supposed to be the communicators, TELL HIM and don't wait until you having an argument either, cus we aint listening to shit you gotta say when you yelling no way. So to be with me all this time and get into an arguement and yell out, "thats why you can't fuck" jsut gon make me look at you like you crazy cus why would you continue to fuck a man, and keep quiet about something as important as intimacy? You run your mouth about EEERRRthing else, but something that could actually help our relationship grow, you shut the fuck up about... Dear God
Yes, they (he) comes back. I am here to please. I know that everybody don't like the same thing so I would rather do what you like to please you. Everyone should know the basics, but the blow job has to be to his likings.
H20 you know good and damn well if you tell a man the sex is whack gonna say "Well I ain't never had no complaints before maybe it's you" lmmfao!!!!!! He not gonna take that well at all he gonna take it very much personal and ow lawd !! don't try giving a brotha instructions during the performance he's gonna have a damn sh@@ attack!!!!!!!!!!
take heed to number 5 on 2eachhisown's list. "Most men are gay and/or on the DL" More and more women are sleeping with each other now-a-days too, but for some reason that don't bother yall, I know some women right now that don dipped off on the same sid eof the fence but will let they nigga have it if he do it? So yall aint gay or on the DL? If that is the case we could all be Wil Smith and Jada, but what's good for the goos is apparently not good for the gander....
Blame it on whitey. I'm here to say that you black women do complain to much, you're overweight and have too many kids by too many guys. I do three miles everyday. The other women who are running are white. There is a black woman or two out there running with me but it always looks as if they should've began running 5 years ago instead of just now. All that thick-ness ain't cute girlfriend. That's why your men want me.
knowitall, timing and delivery is everything boo. While laying in the bed with him, how bout whispering sexily in his ear, "baby lets try this" as opposed to "you can't fuck.."
Of course the nigga gon front like he always been the bomb, but then again so will yall...Tact means everything
ummm bitchplease are you gonna say something or shall I to Ms Snowbunny
If I must Miranda well Snowbunny thank you for your synopsis of why our men want you. But I got a newsflash for you, any man who picks a flat white ass over a big black one souly for that purpose, has a small dick and we don't want them anyway...
See, there's the attitude. You guys are so angry. Why must you feel the need to confront me when there are two black men on here telling you why they don't would look at lighter shades of brown.
A bit promiscuous too, life is about more than ass and dick. What else can you offer. That explains all the kids and you high HIV rate.
Miranda they gave their honest opinion, and you gave a racial slur bitch mixed with insults. Nothing that the men have said was disrespectful, its just what they preferred. But I can repect your point of view, because most of your men, want us, curves and all, they are tired of laying with the ironing board and realize there is nothing sexy about skin friction burns.
No Mrs.HObbs I got snowbunny!!!!!!! Bitch please (not u 08) Black men want you so they run over your extra passive aggressive ass!!!!!!!! Not all black women are fat have a bunch of kids!!!!!!!!! There are just as many of you whores on welfare w/5 and 6 damn kids too!!!! And like white women don't complain yall asses complain about everything and everybody so why don't you go and enjoy a bottle of bleach w/that fancy wine you whores like to drink so much!!!!!!!
Actually recent polls ahve shown that the highest HIV rate lies in white males between 25-40 do your research snowbunny, it has just in later years started to hit the black community in BULK, maybe it was because of all that interacial mixing. had we stuck to our own, maybe it wouldn't be so high
Miranda, although you self addressed your message I will take the liberty of responding. Again is sex all you have to offer. Is that the only thing that you think will hold a man. If so, that's very shallow of you and those who think like you.
Yes knowitall, we have fatties too. Difference is our men don't get on TV and exploit it. ANother thing you have to tune in to Jerry to see our fuckups. I walk down the street and see a multitude of yours.
Bitchplease that's some very good information to pass on to your black men. Because the disease was originally known as the "gay white man's disease". Here in 2008 according to the CDC black make up less than 20% of the population but 50% of the AIDS cases in America. I understand now, all that's been thrown at me is huge asses, little dicks and rug burns. It's bigger than sex.
The same for you all when I pass by the trailer park which I'm so sure you married your way out of!!
Well Knowitall the projects have been knocked down now so maybe your brand new section 8 voucher can move you right on up to a double wide.
I would die before I live in a trailer honey!!!! I live that to the white trash!!!!!!!
Miranda Hobbs, you mentioned that I delivered insults. Numbers 5-8, which is basically what I said, are the opinions of black men, not me.
knowitall you said "you live that to the whit trash"....most certainly, that's where they live. So what was your point?
Sorry I made a mistake the same reason why you are here today what I meant to say was I leave that to the white trash k pumpkin!!!
an again snowbunny that was their opinion, not a slur on when and where they shoulda started excerising, and actually snowbunny one of your fuckups can be seen in the white house, youre right its bigger than sex....
Hey this is not a race war or an attack on race. Ladies back to your neutral corners. Men prefer what they prefer as well as women, has nothing to do with women needing excercise, or thme having flat asses. If a man don;t want you, he is not FOR you, because ( and I say this to BOTH races) if a man picked you soley on your looks, Mrs Richard Simmons (Snowbunny) and Mrs Brickhouse (every other black girl in this chat) then guess what, there is always someone more fit and more stacked than you. If you don't have nothing ELSE to offer outside of your fit body or thick thighs and ass, you could run from here to the moon you'lls still be lonely. But riddle me this snowbunny, if our men want yall sooo bad, why do yall men want us?
Bitch (Miranda) shut yo Hallmark greeting card writing ass up. You were just in here letting this bottle of white out have it right along with the rest of us, now all of the sudden you're spread love not war. You and this pasty face can keep it pushin!!
Agreed 100% Bitchplease. Im a Democrat. Bush is a dressed up Hillbilly, coked out loser. He has about 200 days left in office and we will all be from under his rule.
I don't mind a competition. I hold my own in any category, weight, looks, class, social stature, bank account, and I'm single (just recently) and don't feel like there is a problem with men dating outside their race. I mean white girls are no better than black girls, OJ Simpson proved that snowbunny, you all are some whores as well, isn't that what got Nicole killed? Maybe you all should stick to your own kind too, then you can cheat and tell your hubby "its just my friend" black men don't play that shit.
You said it best yourself Miranda. Men and women want what they prefer. So if a White man prefers a beautiful woman, black-asian or latina, then that's what he/she wants. I can't go into a tirade about a white mans preference.
again the SINGLE women are the only ones upset about it
I feel sorry for the women. You all do have slim pickings as far as GOOD men are concerned. But In my line of business your bitchy attitudes are what send them to my door more times than not. Just stating the facts.
AKA every race has it's whores. I don't know what got Nicole killed. I'm not her spokesperson for infidelity with her husband. But it is what got Superhead her fame along with an inevitable self destruction. As far as you giving us your social class (as if we were in Europe) doesn't impress me or anyone else. It's called being an adult.
I can respect that Miranda. If I see a fine ass man with anybody but me I be like damn, I wish that was me. I don't go around and bash the race of the women he's with.
number one, being a whore is what got Nicole killed you watched the news. Number two, I'm in Bratislava (where they made the movie Hostile you seem challenged) so social class matters here as well as everywhere else in the world. Who world are you in? Being an adult means nothing if your broke, which was one of the things on that list 2eachhisown provided. Superhead was a clown, and so are you for not knowing that your economic status matters alot more than your sarcastic and ill informed tongue.
Don't get it twisted men don't run to your door because of a girl's attitude. They run there because they want pipe. Our women do not have the power to turn us gay.
AKA are you talking about Quentin Tarantino's 2005 movie. Before your wanna be uppity ass tries insult me get your facts straight. The name of the movie is spelled "HOSTEL" not hostile which you obviously are. Perhaps if you were actually there opposed to daydreaming you'd know that it's a place to lodge not an attitude. You had the nerve to call me challenged. You haven't mastered the basics so there is no need for me to entertain buffoonish insults from the village idiot.
I am single and I don't have a problem with a black man dating another race or another man....... I jus don't appreciate the reasons that black men claim they are dating these people..... If I'm not for you then I'm jus not for you!....But when you get with a man or a women of another race don't act like black women drove you there because we as black women are not perfect and black men are not either!
crimson youre one of the men at my door, shut up before one of your high heels falls outta your closet
lets give snowbunny a round of applause for knowing how to spell a movie title people, ahhh so much credit so little time. You may want to change your tone, your insults sound familiar, and your tone of voice suggest that you are only on here to spark controversy. You're not white, you're an arrogant black person and you are not a woman you're a homo, you missed your topic today is about men choosing women of another race. Not men pretending to be women explaining the plight of the straight man. Pathetic the village idiot student will soon surpass the village idiot teacher grasshopper
As you can see, the same way I corrected you about your insults that lacked impact I could have corrected you and shown you how to preserve your relationship. You can stop clapping now. It'll hit you tonight when you get to snuggle up with your social class, career and education instead of a hard leg, toots!
They must have had an impact, as you haven't stopped yammering since I started. You said there was no need to entertain the insults from the village idiot so who would be the idiot, me for needing to be corrected or you the one who is supposed to know better but still stooping to my level. You are soo easily manipulated it's no wonder You say insult, I say truth, but everyone needs to feel needed, so correct me if you must. It gives you a sense of purpose I know, I know.
I can't stop yammering because I used to teach LD and ED children and I guess old habits die hard.
okay, i dont like how the black community has turned out. i realize that about 50% or so of black men are incarcerated, and maybe 10% are gay. There are good black men out there but some black women take that for granted and see it as a stereotype for our community that there is a shortage of 'good' black men. They just see the need not to find a good man of the same race and find someone outside of their race as if that will make their lives better.
I myself date outside of my race and date both genders(im a female). I dont understand why as a black bisexual female I would have to take a focus on dating within my race.
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