Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Friends With Benefits
Friends w/Benefits? What's the big deal? At some point almost all of us have had a friend with no emotional attachments, just the enjoyment of their company, in every sense of the word. But is it healthy? What happens when one gets his/her feelings involved? How do we put a limit on complete enjoyment and utter euphoria?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
118 comments:
in my opinion a "friend with benefits" is not something that should be "settled" for. You have to be honest with yourself and if you are looking for a husband then find him! When you settle for a "friend with benefits" you WILL eventually become emotionally attached for women. Because he will be everything you want in a man, why wouldn't he be, if you are gonna drop and give anyone 50, the guy must be near perfection, so why wouldn't you want that for the long run. For men, unfortunately we only get "friends with benefits" when we have already found wifey. Her main goal is to be everything our wife is not. Sad but true...
Totally agree H2O.
Where did the term come from anyway? I'm sure from a man who wanted to make the woman he was using feel good about not being good enough to be his woman. Women nor men shouldn't be desperate enough to settle for that. I know u may say that u r perfectly find with the arrangement (like my girlfriend says she is) but when you really think about it - you're not. If she were she wouldn't be trying to please him and "be his woman" on other levels. Everybody wants someone to love them exclusively and accepting that title is be-littling urself. Cut the benefits especially if he ain't paying! LoL! Blue Cross takes their money right off the top every month! Not condoning it but if u gonna..then u oughta..
It's all about control and what you're looking to get out of the friendship. If you're in it for cash then consider it a job. My "friends" are usually those who have absolutely no chance of being with me. We may have all the fun in the world but at the end of the day they're not worthy of receiving the unconditional spiritual, mental, physical and emotional love and support and catering that I would surrender to my man. For example, I have all the fun in the world with my current "friend". Unfortunately he has a kid, no high school education, mediocre job and lives a rap star's life. His under-achievements alone will never allow him to be anymore than what he currently is to me.
My man
Airforce1, are there sexual benefits? I only ask because when I think of friends w/ ben I think of someone u kick it with and have sex with but no commitment. Yours sound like a good friendship with no "benefits" involved.
I personally feel like if it works for both parties, both parties are honest and can be safe it can be really enjoyable. I know for me, I like the convenience of it so to speak. I'm not ready to settle down, I'm too busy to meet anyone for a serious relationship and really don't want to commit at the time so having a friend "with benefits" works out fine for me!
oh there is always romantic involvement with a friend with benefits, even if its someone to be an arm piece and be hugged up with at an event. There is a benmefit to that. I have a "friend" and the only reason why they are in my life is because I am not where I want to be in life to incorporate another person in my grand scheme of things. "I" must be complete before "we" can. But whenever I ahve an itch that I cannot scratch, their fingers are the ones I prefer...
These situations, for one, never end well. Someone is going to become emotionally invested at some point ruini- I mean, ending what "fun" was goins on. And 2, in the end it is a complete waste of time, just as AF1 said, because there isn't any deeper emotional connection once it's all said and done. Just another notch on the bedpost....which reminds me, I need a new mattress! :-P
Pish Posh! I abhor the idea of friends with benefits! Usually one party is getting more of a benefit then the other. I agree with Anonymous #1 everyone wants to be loved. You want to know my definition of a "FWB" MY HUSBAND!!! He is my best friend and there are SEVERE benefits stemming from our union. For those that aren't ready to settle down, or don't have the time, what you need is someone to clean your litter box. They are not "FWB's" they are maintenance men. Let them do their job, and leave. The bill will be sent in the form of you feeling lonely the very next day.
LMFAO @ Seamus
Now see Seamus, you just Mc-Nasty! LOL!
Excuse me Anonymous but the sex is implied. I didn't think I needed to spell it out.
U r excused airf1
Look here Anon. we do just fine in this chat daily now. Okay you new but don't come in with an attitude because you can't think outside the box. We can't waste our time dumbing topics down for you.
Say whatever,
I could go there but I won't. I see u r a child that's been itching for a moment to start some drama. Get a life! U can't even post to the question without trying to insult someone. U sound bitter - so bitter that u can't even give a response because ur cover is blown as one of Seamus' notches! Lol! Just wanted to give u something to argue about sweety. Honest mistake and to all that I have offended I do apologize. It was a mere clarification during the discussion and again, I apologize for the confusion and any insults or tears that this question may have caused u. Now back to the topic...
Agreed, don't get too indignant there are three entities on here that don't really play that mess...
BP08
FW:
I could go there but I won't. I see u r a child that's been itching for a moment to start some drama. Get a life! U can't even post to the question without trying to insult someone. U sound bitter - so bitter that u can't even give a response because ur cover is blown as one of Seamus' notches! Lol! Just wanted to give u something to argue about sweety. Honest mistake and to all that I have offended I do apologize. It was a mere clarification during the discussion and again, I apologize for the confusion and any insults or tears that this question may have caused u. Now back to the topic...
Speaking from my own alpha-male point of view:
Every person we befriend of the opposite sex, the first thing that happens is we put them into a category; This category seems to change periodically depending on where we’re at in our lives, i.e. we may have someone that we are comfortable w/ or in love, single, or just plain bitter. All this is relevant when we meet or have these people in our lives already, because we tend to treat them according to our status? When you are in love or “comfortable” he is just your “no-benefits” friend. However, when the ball drops on either of those categories & you become vulnerable. That “no-benefits” miraculously changes to benefits?
The point I’m making is the “friends w/ benefits” situation is synonymous w/ convenience and at the end of the day that is all it is. “I don’t want to be alone, or considered a hoe, so I’ll keep me a (a d*&$) in a glass around just in case or at least until I find a man that fits ideally in my “fantasy” you know like the one described in one of Zane’s books”
Lol Mello!
The "benefits" are anything that YOU FEEL is a benefit. Whether it be time, money, companionship, whatever! The "sex" as a benefit is something that your small slutty mind cooked up. Anon. Say My name don't dignify him, I hate when people try to get on here, insult someone and then go "now back to the topic, rather than just sticking to the topic at hand. But I guess if they did that, we would have no need for a segway huh?
...but I gotta tell you, it feels ummm good being the friend receiving the benefits...lol
Anyone got some raid, there seems to be an insect in this chat. Anon I am not really worried about you "going there" you prolly couldn't afford your way back after you went. Keep your comments to yourself before you find you and your comments in the recycling bin...
OHHH so true Mello so f*cking true...LOL!!!
I cannot believe how PISSED u "----" are about me getting clarification on a comment!! R u for real?? Do I have to forward the same message to your "jump-on-da-bandwagon" ass?? I say back to the topic because it seems your ADD ass can't stay on task and remained focussed on one thing. Is it hard for you to chew gum and walk at the same time? I'm trying very hard not to go there.
BP08
Was that supposed to be funny? I'm sure you got Raid and everyone around that little desk that u r sitting at, trying to keep from taking one of your little pets home that u brought with u!
That's a damn shame grown educated people can't have a decent chat without SOMEBODIES posing as educated adults enter in with their mindless thoughtless chatter. I think u'r in the wrong blog. I thought this had an age limit. Pull out some damn ID before you make another dumbass post!
its as hard to chew gum and walk as it was for you to thumb through the dictionary to find the proper spelling to complete your post. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Why do you keep saying you're trying not to go there? Who cares if you go there, I'm THERE waiting for you to get here. No one is upset that you asked for clarification, but the whole "ur excused comment" was what I guess SMN found fallacy with. As far as jumping on a bandwagon, you're the new booty in this chat, I've been here since its inception... If you are offended I apologize I wouldn't want you to "go there" The only thing I have to say to that is see my screen name...
Anon WTF is -----, we don't do hieroglyphics on here. You giving us too much new booty..stop while you're ahead.
okay okay enough of this ANON was there anything more you had to say about the topic, for someone who seemed to want to get back to the topic and to be above it all, you sure seem to entertain BP08 in every post. Don't just talk the talk sweetheart, be it. If you're not gonna comment on what someone else says tehn don't post your comment about the topic and shut up. Whose the bigger fool, BP08 for starting the drama or you for keeping it going. Minions....
There is an age limit but there should also be a class limit. Ill speak to the authors to see about getting the help fired...
Monica Lewinsky called she said she needs her throat back
Speaking from my own alpha-male point of view:
Every person we befriend of the opposite sex, the first thing that happens is we put them into a category; This category seems to change periodically depending on where we’re at in our lives, i.e. we may have someone that we are comfortable w/ or in love, single, or just plain bitter. All this is relevant when we meet or have these people in our lives already, because we tend to treat them according to our status? When you are in love or “comfortable” he is just your “no-benefits” friend. However, when the ball drops on either of those categories & you become vulnerable. That “no-benefits” miraculously changes to benefits?
The point I’m making is the “friends w/ benefits” situation is synonymous w/ convenience and at the end of the day that is all it is. “I don’t want to be alone, or considered a hoe, so I’ll keep me a (a d*&$) in a glass around just in case or at least until I find a man that fits ideally in my “fantasy” you know like the one described in one of Zane’s books”
(This is me trying to change to subject back to the subject..lol)
BP08
You sound so juvenile it's pathetic! "I'm THERE waiting for you to get here."
I'm not being facetious by asking this but did this really come from someone who has graduated from high school yet? When my girl told me about the blog I said it sounded cool to do while I'm on vacation but she didn't say it would clogged with ignorant women who can't hold a decent conversation without resulting to stupid comments. I took offense when yo' girl made a smug remark about dumbing something down. I can't help that I think before I speak and and make sure that I am on the right page in my responses. Maybe you should try it sometimes. When u graduate in life. This chat with you is pointless and beneath me so I'm out!
...but I gotta tell you, it feels ummm good being the friend receiving the benefits...lol
"Monica Lewinsky want her throat back"...LMAO!!! Okay okay I'm done laughing...no I'm not! LOL!!!! Okay. People this topic is about Friends with Benefits remember? Not, Say chit that make others Tic, right, (chuckle).
The term FWB doesn't need anymore clarification...it means only one thing. Maybe next time your friend will tell you about these slayers. Find som'n else to do with your free time. Groupie.
Im the only one being ignorant, please don't hold the blog responsible. Trust me, we don't hold the blog responsible for the penis enhanced that get on here and spout off their ignorance dipped in sarcasm. The only thing that is beneath you is the prostitute that you paid to give you the attention that your girlfriend won't. Again my apologies, and please don't hold the blog responsible for my actions. I am just a commenter and my words to you should mean as little as your words do to me. Don't get mad Twan...
what sounded juvenille about "Im there waiting on you to get here" BP08 was clearly saying that since you wanted to "go there" she as already there waiting for you to come. Seems awful elementary to me. but then again they do say the more book knowledge you have the more common sense you lose. So your extensive vocabulary is probably compensating for your lack of normal phonetic comprehension. You are excused as well!
Well Mello, again I think it all depends on the person and where they are or trying to accomplish with their friend. I have a few girlfriends who say they don't want to be settled until 35 because of the life long commitment. They have friends and they deal with them as FWB's so no one is hurt or upset if the other happens to be spotted with another dip. They also don't want the responsibility of a relationship.
Anon sometimes this happens man, don't take it personal. If someone says something you don't like it's their words and opinion only. Don't let it affect your view of the site. I as one of the authors wanted to give people a chance and place to vent, express or just convey their views on topics discussed. Yes there have been some monsters created but all and all its a good site. Ignore the evil stepsisters and keep a clear mindset. Besides it aint but a few of us men on here, you gon let these ladies scare you away. They don't scare me, so why would they scare you? Lighten up man, its cool. C'mon Seamus tell him man!! LOL
Men, please don't forget that women have evolved. Yes, we are emotional beings. Nevertheless we have been introduced to our innate I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T selves who prefer that when it's all over you get up and leave. Funny thing is we're not looking for that perfect Zane novel man, just somebody we are familiar with to knock it out.
Sorry, she was too catty to be anybody's man. Geez.
Don't complain about your man not being a soap opera dude if you are not gonna be a Vicki Secret Model... words to live by
Hey yall!!!!!! Well me personally I've been told that I have the same thought process as a male so for me a friend w/benefits is someone who jus doesn't meet the standards to be my man or vice-versa and we can still have a good time together b/c lord knows it's hard to find someone that you have a cool chemistry w/and like enough to have sex wit. Me personally I am in full control of my feeling so I try to set limitations of how far I let myself get involved w/this person!!!! (Not sound loose or anything but I also keep a couple of other jumpoffs on deck so I don't put all my eggs in one basket until I found someone I want to be with and settle down with)
Oh epriuncus...men aren't too picky no way. All of us girls who do look like Vikki Models are single and the bagilla monsters are married. Doesn't matter if its happily but men are more into having a "safe" girl. One that is not that attractive without too much going on for herself because she's less inclined to leave in stormy weather. If she is attractive shes insecure with low self esteem. Women ALWAYS tend to be selective when choosing a potential mate. Words to trust.
I don't know what man you are talking about, I need to have a woman I can look at and be proud to look at her. I'm not a "safe" man so I don't want a "safe" woman.
Princess you hit the naild right on the head church!!!! I swear sometimes I wonder how OMFUFUN got a man and i can be in a club for 3hrs and no one man says anything to me!!!!!!!!
You post says don't complain about your guy being a novel God when you're not a VS model. As a woman I felt I needed to comment because there are only 7 VS models. Since those were your words to live by I was throwing out there the fact that majority of the time I see a married couple I and people around think " he could do so much better than that" especially if he's a cheater. WHy not be with what you like from the beginning opposed to dragging your "safe" girl through the mud. Most men can't do that because they wont know how to handle a girl with sex appeal and confidence.
That is for people who go for the superficial surface thing. I can be PROUD to look at someone and the rest of the world can think what they like. That is the thing, women look at other women and say tings like "how that ugly broad get him" or "why am I single and this fat so and so isn't?" Maybe its because your inside is not as beautiful as you think your outside is.
Princess preech girl preech!!!!!!!
Oh god forbid you are pretty and educated and indenpendent you can forget about any man coming anywhere near you for anything other than sex because they(most men) need somebody who needs them in some form or fashion....
For real Knowitall. These niggas talk all this shit but they give the hunchback of Notre Damn their last name. They kill me.
Is it only me or has anyone else noticed that attractive, savvy, independent girls are always single.
Let you be Resputia's twin, I guarantee you get a man. He'll cheat with that well rounded girl but he won't wife you.
But you proved my point. That' sthe line y'all use. "I don't care what nobody else think about my baby". LOL!!!
Am I Superficial...no, Intimidating...yes. This is no self claim either. I'm a Christian, ride nice, nice crib, family has a lil money and I work hard for my own also. I've had several men tell me. " Shit you got everything, what would you need me for".
I'm tired of being punished for my success. That's all.
I think the outside packaging is what brings you close, but the inside is what keeps you near...
Princess you are exactly right I have at least 13 friends that don't have a man and you know what we all have in common... Black educated attractive independent...
Same here princess I don't understand why if you don't need a man around but you want him around that not enough for them!!! All I want is a man that has all his own to make me feel safe hold me and rub my feet every once in a while!!!! I ask you all is that asking for too much let me know!!
Well knowitall, we are in that transitional stage in history. Never before has a man had to deal with so many women being able to hold their own. SO maybe in 100 years once the caveman finishes evolving our future generation of sisters (testube daughters since so many of us are single) will have a man who appreciates their role in society as a phenomenal woman. But that may backfire and men may become dependent...LOL!
BRB
Lmmfao princess your right!!!!!! they will figure it out oneday and by then I will have me a nick cannon type nigga lol!!!!!!!
Okay, did you really just say Nick Cannon?
Yes Seamus, a youngen. We get sooo tired of trying to prove our worth to older men. Young guys are more appreciative.
By appreciative, can I assume that you mean young-uns are more eager to please? I do believe that would make you a "cougar".
that's cus they don't know no better, (youngens) they appreciate any lil scaps you ahnd out...
Yes sir!!!!!!!!!! Nick Cannon had the biggest cool aid smile in the world on those pictures which translates to he knows he gots him a winner and he's gonna do any and everything to keep her happy!!!!
One name can sum this convo up better than going back and forth about good or bad hair like we on Skool Dayz. None other than Ms. Halle Berry.
WHy is it that pretty, successful, light skin, good hair, toned body bitch incapable of getting a man. Damn it imma get me a young whte man. Thats what we gotta do ladies. Leave the brothers with the boogers.
Im not going to keep apologizing for having a job.
Just like them ugly girls eprunicus...LOL! So whats the difference. Hell the young ones go a lil longer anyway. Why not.
Well ES I would rather have someone who appreciates me rather than someone that's trying to tear me down because he's too insecure to deal with me!!!!!!!
Call it what you want. I think the term Cougar applies when you're 40 and up not 28. But for the sake of me not having to explain having a career my 28 year old ass will date a 23 yr old and be called a cougar. Doesn't bother me. Mariah, Demi are always smiling lately.
I've studied Ms. Berry extensively (ahem) and came to conclusion that all her troubles are because she's akin to a autistic fish in bed.....Yes, stare at me all you want, she's horrible in bed and I'd be willing to bet my ridiculously small paycheck on it.
Priceness get out of my head!!!!!!!! That is my favorite example if she can't get a man then we regular women can jus forget about!!!!!!!
I'd kill a hobo for just a hug from either one of them, Princess - so keep doing what ya doing.... :-P
Well at least you glamorous women are the women the men cheat with.
Here's another scenario copernicus. One of my beneficial friends was married. We dealt for damn near two years. Now his wife didn't go anywhere. It was kinda like the WHy did I get married couple with Jill Scott. I got the trips, the dinners, the plays and Holiday time. When I got into God I cut that off, but I asked why do you put her (his wife) through this. This man spent consecutive nights with me ya'll. He said he wouldn't be with me because he'd have to kill me. He knows I wouldn't honor that shit, his "safe" girl would. Lets get away from looks, thats an insecurity issue with the woman..pretty or not.
Halle Berry was terrible in bed, all 3 of her exes said that. How all three men Wesley Snipes, David Justice and Eric Bonet say the same thing and be wrong?
Why copernicus, Why is that?
Who cares about Wesley because he's hard on the eye.
David was abusive and Eric had a dirty dick. So even if she is bad in bed her pride and self esteem didn't allow her to stay in a bad relationship. Had she been weak (safe), she would've continued to take that horrible treatment.
I know men who'd just be happy to have Halle breath on them they'll go nuts if they get it. This is HALLE we're talking about.
Princess I think we share a brain!!!!!!! If you are pretty with low self-esteem and let a man run all over you don't have anything to worry about... but if you love yourself pretty or not and don't really take sh@@ off a man he's outta there because that's the samething I get " I like you but I would have to kill u" translation in guys terms "you won't let me do what i wanna do and still be with me!!!!
I heard that too. I can picture Halle Berry laying there thinking "this man is blessed to be with a good looking succesful woman like me" and all the while the man is like, yeah you fine and succesful but your sex is garbage. unfortunatley I agree with the men on this one, no matter how much you THINK a man is intimidated by you, the times hav shifted. MEN are now seraching for the succesful business woman, to feel "pimpish" if you will. The days of men being insecure because a woman is succesful are LONG gone. Roles have been reversed and men are looking for that. A man told me one time on SATC, "He's just not that into you" It was the most liberating thing I could ever hear. My paycheck and success and glamour meant absolutely nothing, if a guy doesn't like YOU your assets wont' keep him there. I too had that "men are intimidated by me attitude" until I realized the type of men I was dating may just be. No man with as much money as me or more is intimidated by ANYTHING about me. He knows who he is, and I am a compliment to him, not a show piece. So Ladies maybe the TYPE of man you are aligning yourself with is intimidated, change your circles and watch the results.
Yet all three of them men flaws and all had enough swag to get and leave Halle Berry wrong sex having ass alone. So In conclusion princess, stop placing blame on the men being intimidated and face the harsh reality that maybe, just maybe your act needs poilishing.
Here it go, they gonna call you every five minutes when you arent in their eye sight. Don't fart, they can tell you everything you ate.
Welcome back, Mrs. Hobbs.....couldn't have put it better myself. You'd have to butter up the walls to fit Halle's head out the front door.....Self esteem is never her problem!
Miranda, swear I've tried to change my circle. Unfortunately, they are usually taken. And these are very good guys. Not that old street nigga shit. That's why I keep my beneficial friend.
There could be some type of truth to that Ms.hobbs but to me He's just not that into you was a book for girls wit low self esteem who don't have a clue about men.... it was very remedial too me and bunch of stuff i already know.... And there are way more men out here still intimidated by succcessful women than there are not... I can totally understand if a man jus doesn't see himself being w/me for the long haul because he doesn't like me that way and most men are not man enough to admit the truth so you never really know what the real reason is!!!!!!!!! I've dated all types of men and the results are pretty much the same I don't have the best of everything but I have all my and I don't have any children and I'm very down to earth and easy to talk to and never had any complaints in the sex department so maybe you can tell me what it is??
I will tell you this Knowitall and gang, what YOU think of yourself means nothing in the war of the sexes. I'm sure Halle don't think her sex is horrible but it is. She got her a white man cus he don't care about knockin her back out, all he cares about is snuggling up in front of a fire place doing eskimo kisses!! I'm telling you ladies this for your own good. Just because you see yourself as a star, doesn't mean that you are one.
Hey Seamus baby, I'm trying to give my sistahs some knowledge but they are soooo stuck on the "I'm fabulous" trip that they cannot see past the reality. It doesn't matter how fabulous YOU think YOU are. Do you know how to treat a man with kindness and respect. Never mind if you think he deserves it, because a man should never dictate YOU anyway. Well they will learn, if not they will be single. This is a war my sistahs and you are either gonna get your ammunition and fight, or sit there in the barracks thinking you too good to fight, and wait on Major Nelson to command you out of the bottle.
Have you "intimidating" women ever took the time out to ask what men like in a girl? You can sit there all day and say "I got it going on" but if you are the only person thinking that, then maybe that will explain why men don't stick around. My best friend, is mad succesful, very pretty, fun to be around and all that, but she is single, and has been for a while. When you see her you will probably say "Damn why she aint got nobody?" her response will be "because men are intimidated by me" but as I got to know her for who she was, I understood why. Her attitude is fucked!! She is always complaining and her nose is always wrinkled up about something. She is a ...well she's a bitch! We are friends because I don't have to deal with her on that level, I'll just tell the bitch to shut the hell up, But to a guy this may be a little annoying. What kills me most is that she don't even know she is a bitch. She thinks that she is being her, and she is, but the "her"
that she is just happens to share the same space as a bitch. Look at Alexis Colby, she couldn't keep a man either, and she only partnered with successful men, its her personality that needed fine tuning. I'm telling you, all you single girls out there need to take a look within and see what you can do to impress and attract someone besides yourself. That old "he's intimidated by me" line is something that us girls use to make ourself feel better about being alone. Trust me, I used to be one of those girls, until I realized the only person keeping me single was me. As soon as I pulled my nose out of the sky, and started looking forward instead of up, I saw the man of my dreams, and I noticed that he saw me as well. I wouldn't have seen that looking up
Well glad to hear some fairy tales do come true Mrs.HObbs. I myself can be a b@@@ but only if you take me there..... And of course my standards maybe a litter higher because who wants some loser who has nuttn to offer... I bring alot to the table I'm a hell of a woman and I am not for the weak I'm very passionate and straight forward... I don't beat around the bush... So when I find someone that i want to humble myself for I will but for the record a lot of men are intimidated by men because most men can't handle the truth and i give it to them straight w/no chaser all day long!!! And as far as asking a man what he wants of course they are gonna say all the right answers but half of the time they don't konw what they want until they have had it and lost it !!!!!!!!
Alot of times women who are very succesful don't know how to turn that corporate bitch off when they get home. When you are at home or on a date with a man, if you want a gentleman be a lady. If you go into a situation with a man, with this "I don't need a man to do nothing for me" attitude then chances are he won't feel abligated to do anythign for you. You ask to be treated as equals but only when its convenient for you. Either you are gonna play by the rules or not. Don't seek me out because I got the same swag as Jay Z and then expect me to talk Barack Obama with you all night. Don't start dating me because you seen me rollin on 20's and then expect me to have enough class to valet park yo uppity ass. In the same token don't find me in a business meeting and fall in love with my professionalism, my suave and shrewed business mind, and then wonder why I don't want to hear Jeezy and Keyshia Cole tell me about their dreams. Go for the man YOU want, not the man you think will upgrade you personal status with your single girlfriends. Why do you think you are single in the first place? It aint US all the time. We got it bad to ya know. Half of yall coem with someone else d*** prints on you (kids) so if we want a family yall already tired! The other half who don't have any kids are soooo Corporate and sooo professional that the decent man don't stand a chance. Everyone can't be corporate, and everyone can't have swag. Find someone who makes you feel good about being YOU and stop trying to change who YOU picked into something you can brag about. When you are at home in the bed with him, aint none of yo saddity friends there. So who cares what they think.
and this philosphy has worked so well for you hasn't it know it all? You are married with children now right? E-X-A-C-T-L-Y. There is nothing wrong with being honest and straight forward, but I'm sure your delivery on that is "This is My opinion and who cares what you think!" As opposed to "this is how I feel, and this is why..." See the difference. Yes some fairy tales do come true, that is because I live an AUTObiography, so I wrote my own stories
LMAO - Never thought about calling the kiddies "D*** Prints" before!
H20 you are exactly right!!! but not all the way I go for who fits with me!!!!!!1 I know what I'm getting when I take them out of the box so I know what do and know what to expect!!! I've never try to change any man I've been with but they always have a master plan for me to become thier perfect woman!!! If I see you are not on the same level as me then I dont' bother and it's simple as that and like I said I'm only a b@@@@ when you X(cross me)... SOOOO when i first meet a man I'm down to earth very cool and kinda goofy if you ask me but then they take that as I'm goofy so let me see if I can run over her like last years shoes... then that's when the b@@@ comes out!!! Mrs. HObbs my delivery is always pleasant and know matter how I say it if it's not what they wanna here they are not gonna like it!!!! I and i know my husband is on the way and he gonna be perfect for me!!!! So as far as I'm concerned men are intimidated by me because most of them even have enough guts to approach me in the first place!!!!
Every woman has the ability to be a bitch. But does that bitch own you or do you own her? Learn to use the bitch like the Dark Phoenix. Show her when necessary. People who know me are aware that I can give it to you straight, but that is not their impression of me, and the first time they hear me go there, it's a shock to them because that is not what I display. Piggybackin off of Ms Hobbs, women are supposedly smarter and more calculating when it comes to meeting a mate. So tell me this, why do you think the good men are always taken. BECAUSE they are good men!! Some woman noticed that and if she was a bitch she put her bitch to the back burner, and she was a lady first. I have an aunt, who is VERY BEAUTIFUL, VERY SUCCESFUL, VERY POISED, VERY ELEGANT, KERI IS SO VERY!!! She don't take no shit from nobody, but when you meet her she is the warmest person you could ever meet. Air force 1 can attest, she is a BAD B*TCH. She has a succesful man, and she is happy. She wasn't always that way, she wasn't always happy, but she kept her head up and did her. She had a very mentally abusive relationship and from that she dind't go on a "aint no nigga gon do me ever again" rant. She dusted herself of and tried again. Knowing your self worth is not TELLING your self worth. When you KNOW what you deserve you don't accept nothing less than that, you're not mad and bitter about it, you just know that what is out here is not for you. And when you find that man, with the right key to open your combination lock, you will know it. it won't matter if he has nothing to offer, because a wife is supposed to be the driving force behind her man. I aint saying go and find you a bum, at least find a man with a job, some goals and determination. A woman's love can make a man move MOUNTAINS, but a bitches mouth can a make a man move out. It's not intimidation ladies its strategy. Pay attention...
I'm not obsessed with being fab. My only thing is when I do turn off corporate bitch he thinks I've activated doormat. Then you got buss it babies out here that'll go in a heartbeat. Why would someone put up with me when they can get it real quick and cheap next door.
I never found anything wrong with wanting to be wined and dined. I like nice shit. I eat at good restaurants so should I let somebody take me to IHOP for a romantic dinner just to say Im on a date? Hell to the Naw.
Eprunicus Scorpius nubmer don't lie like i said I've never had any complaints from any I say any of the sex partners I've had.... If see me I bet my miserable little pay check that you will think I'm a star!!!!!!!!!!! FYI mrs.Hobbs I know How to treat a man but if he doesn't know how to treat me the he will meet the b@@@ side of me!!!!
Where are all the men to help me support this point. WHERE MY DAWGS AT MAN!!!!
H20 that's exactly what I know piggy backing off princess as soon as I show myself nice a man wants to run all over me and that ain't gonna happen.... Airforce1 can too attest that I am one of the coolest people you ever wanna deal with I'm very supportive and respectable to men and woman but tell me this why is it all people see your kindness as a weakness!!! Honey I kow exactly what to for a man and how to keep a man but do they know what to do with me and how to keep me hell no!!!!!!!!!! like princess said why should they deal with me when you have boomquisha who will do what you take all the sh@@ off you and keep smiling !!!!!!!!
its the main character of the story not the setting princess, the sooner you learn that the better. You're obsessed with being fabulous, okay well find aman that is obsessed with being Debunair!! But you won't like him because his shine might outshine you right? I undertand liking nice things, but yo ass can eat at Harolds sometimes, just like the rest of us. I personally think that picnics are romantic, especially if the day is nice, I might even feed you every bite, but who want' sto do that witha girl who is mad we are not at the Waldoff Astoria!! Who is complaining about her hair an dthe bugs. ALOT of the times you women SUCK the romance right out of something by thinking that your idea of "what is" is the only idea there is to have. Halle Berry is a star Knowitall, and still has man problems with RICH MEN. ITS HER!!! Baby girl a million people who don't know each other but say the same thing may have a point
LMAFAO @ boomquisha!!! The tyep fo men who go for her are not for you KNOWITALL. Know the difference between a good man, and your man. Sometimes your man may not be the best man, but he is yours. If a man doesn't know ho wto treat you, SHOW HIM, don't tell him. As a man I can tell you, we are simple we haven't the foggiest idea what each woman likes because you all are sooo different from one another. Some women think being chivalrous is a sign of men trying to run them. Its like damn bitch I was just trying to be poilite!! Don't think for a minute that it don't work that way over here in the "kindness as a weakness" game. Let for one minute a nigga show yall some compassion and lvoe and understanding. call you everyday just to hear your voice. You know what that man is to you. Clingy, needy, and soft. Make up YOUR mind, then maybe you'll find a man with a like mind
The last statement was me guys, just clicked the wrong button...lol I'm real about mine, don't need to hide behind anonymous...
For the record...I will fuck some Harold's up 6 wings with mild off 87th. And some home of the Hoagy and I57....... LMAO!
Honey if Have to teach a man how to treat me I don't need him at my age I don't have time for that... by the time you are 25yrs old you should have dealt with enough women to know how to treat me!!!! So you like that boomquisha huh lol !!!!!!!!!
and I can attest to Airforce being crazy. She's beautiful, very succesful, and very elegant. The PERFECT arm piece for ANY type of function. but she is most definitely crazy. She changes her mind every 2 seconds, who can keep up with that? Who can fulfill you and make you happy when what makes you happy changes per minute, per hour, per day? No offense airforce, you KNOW I love you, but you is crazy..sad but true, but so am I so.....
Fyi h20 all of Airforce1 friends are jus like her execept for me lmmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!
See that is th ething KNOWITALL, they may know how to treat the last woman they were with becaue they know her!! THEY DONT KNOW YOU, therefore will have to learn how to treat you. There is no manual that tells you how to treat the average woman, and if there was YOU ALL ARE NOT THE AVERAGE!!! Don't spit this game of how poised and dignified, down o earth you guys are, and then hide behind it!!! EVERY woman is different!! Everyone woman desires different things> Aint nobody said you gotta be a damn professor to school me, but damn give a brutha some hints as to what the hell YOU, YOU AS IN KNOWITALL likes, you are a woman, you ar nto ALL WOMEN, your tastes do not dictate the masses, and the reason you thik like that is because for men. WE ALL THE SAME. Feed us, F*ck us, love us, support us that is it!!! Once YOU realize how complex YOU are then you will start to understand how HARD it is to please you. Yes I know a boomquisha and she is most definitely a buss it baby!! She look like she been bussed a couple of times LMAO!!!
Wait a minute Morpheus, I never said that I was worried about shine. It's not that at all. I can and do appreciate the little things in life. I would love to go on a picnic.
I went out with a guy who wanted to take me to Harold's and a room on our first date. These are the kinds of men I get. I see we had a bit of a misunderstanding. I would love to enjoy simple pleasures in life. I shouldn't have to TELL you that dinner and a motel aint whats up. My feelings were hurt. I don't come off as that kind of girl.
His brother who was 15 yrs older knew what to do with me. Unfortunately, he's deceased but the brother and I went to a cajun restaurant not Charlie Trotters. So i'm not caught up in bright lights and labels. Im not a new jack bitch that just found out about Ruth's Chris and want some scrimp. Dont pass judgement on me..please?
Knowitall please refer to the name that preceeds 08....Love ya!
you prolly crazy too Knowitall...lol
H20 what you said about the guy only knowing how to treat his last girl was brilliant. You, Miranda and the Eprunicus are really giving people things to think about.
Y'all finna get the fuck up off me...LOL!
well excuse me Trinity, when you find the one be sure not to run him of with your supreme fighting skills...LOL
Its the truth, we only know the girl we are with that's it. One we aint with her, we REALLY have to start rom ground zero. it's not that we give the ight answers on purpose we trying to find out what YOUR right answers are, cus chances are, they aint the same answers that the last girl gave...
Lmmfao!!!!!!!!!!
I am a Libra, who is represented by the scales. The slightest imbalance calls for me to be indecisive. That's true. It's funny because my mind is always going like 100 miles a minute because I analyze all situations for the pros and cons so I can make an educated guess with a plan B is all else fails. It's hard to live with me. That's why I like my "friends" because I don't expect too much from them and I try not to love them so I don't ever have to wonder about if they are loving me.
I've been hurt twice. I try not to carry baggage but I do panic when I see familiar signs. Hell I'm human, very imperfect. I just hate getting wrapped up because I give my all. Once I'm drained because I've held you down, then what's left of me.
we all are victims of that Libra. As a Scorpio my problem is I love TOO intensly or not enough. There is no meduim ground with me. Either I suffocate you with my love and bring you to the brink of ecstacy or I let you hang there like a wet dish rag. If I could find a happy medium and a common place of love and let up a little, love and let up a little I'd be a quality man
OR how about just put out a little. Im still tryna to get you over here and tie you to one of these 6 foot beams while I let the scales tip...if you catch my drift....LOL!
OMG you aint supposed to be talkin bout all that in the chat! LMAO!!!
Oops!....LMAO
I just wanted to say I really hate that I couldn't get in on the chat earlier - all of you had things to say that were profound, funny, interesting and above all a joy to read. Hearing both sides of the coin has been very insightful (we should have a part II to this) - I've come to the conclusion that the men want a woman to be just that; some of the women, feel that their successes and independence can come across as intimating (and trust me I understand being all of that and then some), and bottom line as mentioned when it boils down to it we all want to love and feel loved. It is our human nature. From birth, majority of us are born connected to a woman so there is a natural need to want to fell connected to another human being. as for the women, if only some of us could have had that precious time to cultivate beauty, to make an investment in education and etiquette and to strengthen virture instead of working to bring home the bacon only to cook it for ourselves maybe a lot of us could be all we can be for a man. But on the flip side, some women see that time of preparation as nothing more than sitting on the shelf while life passes them by or sitting on the bench while others play the game. But what's not realized is that the woman must be prepared before she can take on the most important and difficult callings in life - marriage and motherhood. Ladies we have to be transformed from a young lady to the queen before we can wear the title and fulfill that role. Singleness is a time when a woman should be in preparation so that she can offer her future husband and the world something more than just a pretty face.
And remember ladies Eve was specifically made FOR Adam, not the other way around!
...to be continued
You know firefly I hear what you are saying.... I have used my time being single to prepare myself for everything I can cook,clean,work 2/3jobs,change a flat tire, put a book shelf together and everything else......The longer I stay single the more independent I become the less a man wants to be brothered with me...I feel me being more than just a pretty face is the problem if were some shallow materilist girl then it would be much easier for men to deal with me, but by me having so much depth and being so complex men really don't know how to take me!!!!!
knowitall, I feel ya on being single and by being so, becoming more and more independent along the process. But a good guy friend always told me, "you do everything by your self because you want to". Those words didn't ring a bell to me until recently. I never ask for help which sends off the signal that I don't want to be helped. To add to the frustration is that I used to feel that if a person wants to help, they should offer or here's the common one,"you see me struggling so why do I have to ask!" LOL! But how would a man know you need help with putting together a bookshelf if you look like you are doing it fine by yourself? We almost have to dumb down are learned set skills when it comes to some men and allow them to do what they do, be men and do us - be women. So the next time you are getting ready to be Ms. handy Andi, maybe ask a guy friend or a single male neighbor you trust to assist you with that flat tire - it'll make him proud to "flex" those muscles and at the same time make him feel needed.
Post a Comment