Tuesday, July 1, 2008
"Meet me at the water cooler!!!!"
With all the stress of the world today, inflation, low health insurance coverage, high unemployment rate, high gas prices, how do you deal with the co-worker or boss from hell. Have you ever had a co-worker or boss that has purposely made it their life's mission to make you uncomfortable? Well maybe it's not their mission, however it does seem to consume alot of their time. Do you quit your job? Meet them in the parking lot after hours? From the outside looking in its easy to say ignore them and keep pushing forward but when you are smack dab in the middle of the situation its becomes harder and harder to keep your cool. Tell us of your experiences with office politics and what you did to overcome. Remember your opinions matter as one day it might be your turn to make the decision of whether to walk away, or walk out!
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It is very difficult to deal with a co-worker or boss that is trying to make your life more stressful thatn what it is. My suggestion is confront the person, let them know (very professionally) that you are aware of their plans and will not tolerate it. If its a boss, let them know how you feel and remind them that there are people out there that you can talk to that will listen if mgmt sees fit to ignore your situation. Have everything documented and be very organized and maybe when the dust settles you'll end up witha raise and a new position... It worked for me.. If that doesn't work you can always have a personal one on one chat after work, in the parking structure where its dark and no one is looking.....
You can only be professional for so long before the urge to put the mitts on somebody's trachea takes over. I have a buddy who actually got locked up for smacking hell-fire from his boss's word-hole at UPS. Safe to say it's kinda difficult to find a good job after having to explain that to a potential employer. I agree with Beeyotch's take - catch em in a cold, dark alley on the weekend, "Man on Fire style"!
I have been through similar experiences and my approach was simple. Find out as much dirt as I can about the person, and use it against them as leverage. Yeah I know its very Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter, but to alleviate going to jail and quitting my job and having to explain why there is a Prada heel print in my last co-worker or bosses ass, I figure this is a good way to handle it.
Agreed Seamus, I mean I have a co-worker now that sometimes I just want to tie her up, cut her eyelids off and keep taking her picture repeatedly! but you know I kinda like my job. And Miranda you KNOW you aint got no Prada stop lying. Now how are you gonna explain why there is an Easy Spirit heel print in their ass? Not only is that unprofessional but its very tacky. You Miranda are like Christmas Break at college. No Class!!
My blood pressure shot up after reading this. There’s a lot of cliquish, racist, ostracizing BS that goes on in corporate America. EVERY job I have had there was always one person (all but one was white) that literally made my life…man listen. I cannot tell you how I dealt w/ them, because I don’t think I did? Usually people like that shit back-fires on them down the line. Maybe you get the satisfaction of seeing it happen or hear about, but honestly most times nothing ever happens! Sometimes you just wonder when your gone are they ever dealt w/ or do they just get away with murder. I take as much as I can and “thanks for coming out” Now, while you are out there pounding the pavement trying to revitalize your career, you think like these mother*&^%$ are still sitting back collecting checks, doing little work, and looking for the next victim having the time of their life. “Mean while back @ the ranch” you’re trying to earn w/ three hands! I know “is-a” Christian & stuff right……..and the few others I took one for the team, but this last group + that cunt of a supervisor EVER run into me…tune into channel 7 “breaking news”
My problem is usually working in corporate and dealing with corporate politics and (ladies if you have experienced this please share. I'm not racist at all and I'm not trying to make this an issue about race but my bad experiences at the work place is usually by some white female co-worker or partner who kick up dust for reasons I can't began to think about. I once worked at this ad agency as a temp and everyone seemed loved me but this one white female who went out of her way to write a letter to HR explaining why they shouldn't hire me. Saying I was a nice girl and all but couldn't pull my weight after her and her friend went into my computer and deleted a power point presentation that was due the next day for a potential client. Surprisingly one of the creatives (see people loved me there) found the print out she left on the printer and gave it to me. She had the nerve to say "I'm just adding my 2 cents". Low and behold the HR director was cool with me and she really tried to get me to accept an Account Executive position but I declined because of office politics. Needless to say I left 2 cents on that (bleep) desk and a note that said "You can keep your 2 cents!".
Mello you be on point because I can completely relate to office politics in a "fettered" manner. Every corporate company/environment I've been in I've experienced the ostracism, excludable behavior the conference room discussions where they act like-they-don't-hear-what you're-saying-only-to-turn-around-and use-it-and-take-credit-for-it mess.
Tell me about it Mello. I am dealing with a woman now (Korean) she has been known to kick up crap. Here recently I guess she felt it was my turn. I called her on it. I told her flat out, "I am very disappointed with your leadership skills and I hope that this is in no way a reflection of how the company is run.." She has then tried to be a thorn in my side because she is my immediate superior. During my time here she has endured a pay cut, an increase in workload and everyone she had spying on me, has been fired for one reason or another, so now in order to help her look good to her bosses guess who she has to count on? She has delegated alot of her reponsibilities to me on the hush, and if I make a mistake who can she tell! She cannot fire me, and I aint supposed to be doing it anyway. So I tell her on occassion, "I appreciate the opportunities you have given me, and you can best believe you cannot escape your Karma, what goes around comes around..." Keeps the beeeyotch off my back and on her toes...
Lawd it got so bad for me in 2006 I seriously thought about shooting up my entire office. Thank God for the serenity prayer everyone is alive and im not in jail. That experience taught me to address office conflicts immediately. I was battling with mgmt not a coworker. They were trying to create an unpleasant work environment. I never wanted to appear to be a liability by sending threats. instead I addressed everyone with concerns. It worked out and Im still with the same company and have advanced greatly. God answers prayers.
I live this everyday my boss tries her best to finds ways to f@@#@ w/me but i refuse to let her run me away!!!!!!!! I stay on my p's and q's so she won't have anything she can say to me. I have to pray sooooooooo hard everyday to keep from killing her!!!!!!!! Because the fact of the matter is I need this job right now to get where I wanna go and i will not let her or anyone else stop me from what I need to do. So I jus keep telling myself "you need this job right now". I try to be jus a little phony with her jus to keep her off my case but mostly I have to pray and ask God to give me strength to make it through because I now it's jus a test.
Preach on Airforce, God is good, Im still with the same company and the woman that has been trying to give me the blues has been transferred to another office so i don't even have to see her face. We communicate through emails only, and I make sure I copy someone on the email and have everything documented in a folder called "Proof of Purchase" just in case a bitch wanna paly. I play to win girl there is no reason to play a game if you are not trying to win....
You are a good one know it all, I can't even be phoney. I have been called a negative employee before for my lack of communication with other co-workers. Wanna know what I said in response. "My services here at the company are salary based, chatting it up with you will cost you extra, you want conversation, pay for it. i'm not being paid to talk." They soon left that issue alone. Oh and Kiss my ass bitchplease I have Prada!!
Don't let her run you away Know it all, if I were you I'd make her sooo uncomfortable that she'd be stressed out everyday just looking at me. You know what makes corporate America, (I aint gon say that other thing, but you ALL know who Corporate America is composed of) nervous? When you talk to them and look into their eyes very intensely when you speak to them. I don't know if its the Scorpio in me or not, but when I am addressing someone, I look them in their eyes sooo hard that it makes them think I can damn near see their thoughts. Also I cut out all idle chatter, its strictly business. People know when you are being phoney and when bosses see that, they tend to feel like they got you on the ropes. No No darlin, Im gonna do my job and do it WELL, so the only thing you are left with to say about me is shit you have to make up which cannot be supported in a court of law. IT WORKS trust me. If your boss in on your back, freeze her out, deal with her on a professional level ONLY. Don't be snotty and mean, but don't ever smile or laugh at anything. Just be a robot to HEER ONLY and be you with everyone else. This way she has no witnesses that you are hard to deal with and can never say that you are a negative employee!! That way there can be no expectations from you or her, because you all are not friends!! Uh Oh I think I was channeling Professor Grey.. Sorry I know you didn't ask for my advice!!
yes you may have Prada but why on your shoes is that a "U" where the "A" should be. Prudu? Discount shopping again ehh?
Now view this from the other angle which will explain the added frustration; It takes about an hour to get ready for work. We spend another estimated hour commuting each way. On average we spend at least 8rs per day @ work. Then another 1 hour to “detox” when you get home. That is an estimated 12hrs per day. Lets take that 12 and multiply it by 5 & we get 60hrs which is 50% of the 120hrs included in 5 days. The topic of this discussion is basically “Hostel work environments” So if the above about averages your work schedule & this topic is your current status; then you spend half of your waking hours in complete and utter misery. God help the ones that have to go home to hell. It’s no wonder people are depressed, suicidal, sexually rambunctious, & drug/alcohol addicts. Life is too unpredictable & short for that….however, here is the dichotomy, it’s the 1st of the month and rent/mortgage is due, the kids need shoes and you all have to eat, oh yeah, the car note & insurance…oops the students loan is due again. Faith & Prayer no longer becomes optional in this scenario!
Faith and prayer is never optional, it's a necessity. its the only thing that has kept me and Air Force 1 out of jail....
Furthermore, the minute you realize WHO you really work for and WHO supplies all your needs, the need to "put up" with bs at the work place ceases and I tell you, you'll live a less stressful more fulfilling life. So knowitall, I know you may feel like you need that job but you can do all the right things and think you are on your p's and q's and the company goes bankrupt. Then what will you do? Don't put so much faith in your job put in the One who never fails, who is always on time, and can supply all your needs...
Welcom to the Negative employee club Ms.Hobbs b/c that's exactly what she told me but she's jus mad because she know i don't give a damn about her and what she thinks about me!!!!!!!!!! I will say this she has laid off me now that I at least speak to her now because you know "Corporate America" hates when someone doesn't like them and is not afraid of them it seems to me if you are not a brown noser then you are trouble maker or negative!!!!!!
Lovethy self I do put my faith in god and he's keeping me here at this job to teach me something I haven't dicovered what but i will learn it and move on. I am only using this job as a stepping stone so if it does go belly up I will find another way to fulfill my goals!!! I have had as many jobs as I have had birthdays so I will surive
oh Ive been there as well in the "negative employee" club. There is a poem I received call Being Black in the workplace, it is a VERY adequate depiction of what people view you as when you are silent or assertive. I feel for you Knowitall, i am just not able to say "hi" when I mean to say "go play in traffic blindfolded." I am not a brown noser AT ALL. What my company hates about me has gotten me promoted several times. I don't tak no shit. My Aunt has a saying and it goes "don't piss on me and tell me its raining" (shout out to Auntie Light Skins!!) but in essence I am paid to do a job, as long as I do that job to its fullest extent, I don't hear anything else.....
Ive had as many men as I've had birthday I'm still waiting on my Knight in shining armor
I understand but I was making reference to you stating you "need this job", and having to be "phony" in the process of trying to keep it - at the moment. If you really put your faith in Him, there will be no need to feel like you have to act any other way than yourself. You will be confident in knowing He can make things happen no matter what the situation. Take care.
Wrong post "Tip drill" wrong post.
Somebody said they done had more jobs than birthdays. SO I said I had more men than birthdays. It's all relative.
On all fronts the "what you should do" answer is complex & confusing. Once I was asked how confusing; I described it as a man running through a corn field backwards..naked at midnight…sounds funny, but get a visual around the mental chaos and bedlam
Lovethyself is right. I'm certain that we all have faith in God, but to what level? In 2006 I prayed thought I had faith but wasn't depending on HIM 100%. Still I never gave up prayer. When I tell you all things work together for the good for those who love God Rom 8:28, when he showed up he showed out. Now in 2008 Nothing worries me. Hebrews 11:1 says faith is the substance of things hoped for evidence of things unseen. I got it. Y'all about to make me shout up in here.
Look loveyoself I feel everything you are saying and I only speak to her that's it I don't ask her how her dog is doing or anything like that. I go to church every sunday and i know all too well what god can do b/c he got me where i am today i jus perfer to keep low on her radar for now that's all!!!! LMMFAO @ Tip Drill
Whats so MMF Knowitall?
Well Airforce1 I'm glad that things worked out for you and because i pray everyday my boss every attempt to get me outta here has failed her!!!!!!!!!!! Plus I know it bugs the hell out her to have to see my face everyday!!!!! I know prayer works and that's why I'm still here bugging the living sh@@ out of her because god doesn't give you nuttn you can't handle!!!!! God has brought me too far to fail me now and i never forget that so like i said I using this job to get where i need to go I speak i do my work and i go home that it!!!!!!!!
Whaz so mmf is I know exactly how you feel and 2) that sh@@ came all the way from left field lmmfao!!!!!
Further more I come to work do my 8hrs and go home and I don't think anymore about my job or the people there until the next day when I see them! My boss only can worry me while i'm at work I leave that stress at the door once I leave!!!!
knowitall, with all due respect, you stated you "needed" your job. You also stated that you "pray to God to give you strength". While I understand we all work to pay bills and live, I personally don't feel I need my job to live. Trust me I've been down that road where I felt I did need a job only to have it taken - several times. The minute I stopped feeling like I "needed" a job, and put "all my faith in God, jobs fell in my lap. And I'm not judging or throwing religion down your throat here, just going off your comments and what you stated. Maybe ask God to give you the exact thing you want along with the strength and confidence to carry you through - He's either going to tell you yes, no or tell you to wait but either way, you'll be surprised at His results :)
Look loveyoself I need my job for right now so what jus quit and get evicted and have no money no food and jus pray and ask god send me another job soooooon.... Look honey I know what god can do and when he is ready he will get me the heck out of here and somewhere better I said i tell myself I need this job right now meaning jus for the moment. Further more no matter what job you got to there is gonna be some type of problem so I'm trying to me my own boss with the lords help and the money I'm making from the job I have now!!!
Uhh no tip drill, the post is what was relative not the count of your men friends... Can we say, slooooooowwwwww
No one said anything about quitting, I said ask Him - specifically for what you want. You stated you are acting phoney and feel you need to be where you are (wherever it is you work) and those words just doesn't sound like someone who depends on God and have complete faith that's all. How is it that you trust and depend on God yet go into work everyday "acting phoney"? Well maybe you are still there because you haven't learned to depend on Him completely. Anyhoo I'll pray that He helps you get through this and bring you everything your heart desires - He sees and knows what you are trying to do, I know He'll bring you to wherever you need to be - you already have your mustard seed :) All the best.
Can you?
Sure I can but I'd be running the risk of being repetitve. You said yourself for yourself with you first comment. Then I said it again in my last comment, now you want me to say it thrice? SLLLOOOWWWWWW.....
Miranda down girl, "sit UBU sit good dog" (remember that from TV back in the day!!!) Not everyone is appreciative of your snappy wit and crass comebacks. Besides this site is not all about you, so save your snide comments for the avon lady the next time she sells you your imposter perfumes....
I thought I caught a SLLLLOOOWWW whiff of Primo.
Woof!!!
Look loveyourself with all due respect!!!!!!!!!!! IF you have faith in god then you know more than anybody that gods turns the other cheeck and has never let the devil or anyone else run him away from where he needs to be.Sooooooo with that being said The devil can't move me from anywhere god wants me to be and the good book says love those who hurt you and pray for those who mis treat you!!! So if me learning to deal with people who hate me is what gods what me learn than I willing to learn it sooooooooo maybe you don't reall understand how god works!!!!! If you have so much faith in god and know so much about him you should have known that already!!!!!
I feel both knowitall and love urself because I had that same issue with a co-worker. I was considered mean because I didn't associate with the other people at work. I am naturally a laid back person who just takes a while to open up to people and for some reason people don't allow you that time. They want to test u and get in your business, etc. Well I started a new career and I didn't want that reputation so from the bat, I was speaking to everybody - not pushy, but just making sure that I was seen as approachable and friendly. Well one woman just refused to speak so I decided that I wasn't going to speak to her - no problem, but I soon realized that my position and any position that you are given, you are there for a reason. As a Christian we are not to just go to church and where His name tag, we are Christians so that we show Him through us. People should know you are a Christian by your love. This was a hard pill to swallow for me because I knew that I wanted to be active in the kingdom and not just a mere citizen in it. I wanted to fulfill my destiny for Him and in doing that I knew that it was MY JOB to show love. Now this isn't done and CANNOT be done of ourselves (trust me I tried and it is very frustrating). We have to rely on the Holy Spirit within us to help us. The Lord knows I didn't want to misrepresent Him in any way because, we (and WE includes ME) don't realize that in many cases, we are the only Christ-like that people see. People judge God through the actions that they see from us. That poses a problem because, although we are Christians, we are not perfect. That's why, knowing this, we should strive to lead a life that is pleasing to God so that men may see our good works and glorify God. Again, this can't be done until we take deeper measures in getting that strong relationship with God to where we begin to see people as He does - a lost soul that needs salvation. I still struggle with this but I am learning to rely more on the Holy Spirit and it is helping me a lot. Testimony: I began with the lady that wouldn't speak. Well, God knew my heart and that I wanted to put my feelings aside and put Him first so I prayed and left it alone. I continued to speak to her and she continued to ignore me. There were days where I just wanted to trip her but I pinched myself and spoke, "Good morning!" Pretty soon I got to the point where it didn't matter if she spoke or not. It didn't mess up my day and me saying 2 words didn't feel like needles on my spine. One day, out of the blue, she spoke! First! I spoke back and from that day to this one, we speak, compliment each other's outfits, played on the student vs. staff basketball game where I teach, and the list goes on. I said all this to say that, though I'm not perfect and still have issues, I am growing and you can get so caught up in God until you don't even see the evil in your co-workers. The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He doesn't want ur job - he can't type! He wants ur joy! He wants ur faith. He wants ur relationship with God! So, I say begin to pray and do what God would want you to do. God will not forsake u and before u know it, you will have so much joy and peace of mind until u will be running to work. God doesn't want us miserable and yes He does have us at our jobs for a reason - that is to bring the kingdom to it. Show our authority over Satan in the workplace! Bring other people to Him, not through Bible studies at lunch, but through pure love. You can do all things through Christ! To some this may sound far-fetched and impossible, and not even worth the effort but I am telling u, the feelings that u feel I have felt them ten times. I am one of the most defensive persons there is but it worked for me and I know that if I continue to humble myself it will continue to work. We as Christians have an identity crisis where we don't know who we are and who's we are! Take ur authority over Satan in the workplace and watch ur faith and relationship grow. It's a sacrifice but He is worthy. Much love!
Ok, thinkyouknowitall ;) I understand enough about how God works, but as long as we are humans we are imperfect who have to learn more about Him everyday. And not one of us on earth can love to the depths of God. But let's go back to your original post (and I'll try to keep this real laconic)...you stated you "have to pray soooooooo hard everyday to keep from killing her!!!!!!!!" Wow, doesn't sound like there's love for the person you so called have to pray for if you have to pray from killing her (LOL). Now it was JESUS who stated “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). Now this kind of love is called "philia" as having love that is not a natural affection for someone. Now Philia love can be an unselfish love but only with the "agape" love God gives you. So youthinkyouknowitall, I'll pray that God gives you the agape love you need to deal with the boss that you "pray sooo hard" not to kill (such a harsh word) each day and I therefore say to you as you continue in your "learning" process…
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).
God bless, love!
"anonymous", your words rang so true and deep that I couldn't agree with you more. In addition, sometimes when you say you are a Christian, some who don't understand think that you are saying you are perfect - like Christ and that is not the case. To be Christian is to work on being "Christ-like" doesn't say "perfection" because as long as we are human we will always be imperfect - Christians and all. It is the practicing of the act of showcasing love for another that makes us more Christ like. It is easy to love those who are close to us. The test comes in loving those who set out to "kill, and destroy". Can you imagine loving someone who tries to kill you! Sounds hard to fathom right? But that is what Jesus did - he loved Judas no different even though he betrayed him. That is the love God wants us to experience. And your comment was very much worth the effort. Thank you.
Look loveyoself I can appreciate your point of view but it seems to me you can't appreciate mine. Anonymous hit the nail right on the head. You have to humble yourself sometimes. If you will be honest wit yoself you humble yourself at work too we all do so it not being phoney!!!!!!!!! And me saying I want to kill her is a figure of speech and you should know that so the point I'm driving at is you keep pointing out that i pray to keep from killing b/cause what else would god have me do!!! You are suppose to kill people w/kindness because even though she's trying her best to take me down my prayer keeps me strong.So I have 100% faith in god but you have to apply regilion to reality... I not gonna jump off a 12story building and pray god saves me before i hit the ground I trust him totally but why quit my job get behind in my bills and wait for god to send me another one when all i have to do is humble my self and show people my light he will take me higher!!!
noitall, y do u feel like u have 2 keep explaining yourself? let it go, let it go, this conversation is long over!
Look actnup if you don't want to read my comments than don't have a nice life ok!!!!!!!!
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