Respect, honesty, intelligence, admiration, physical attraction...yada, yada yada!
Ok, besides the list of the perfect "do right" man and the physical attributes of a perfect looking woman, what is it that women/men really want from each other? Are women wanting too much, or are men not willing to give enough?? Can a man/woman be happy with just one partner or does it take many to fit the bill?
Monday, July 7, 2008
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I think for "men" all we want is someone to understand us. For me all I want is for someone to love the ME that they fell in love with. Don't try to change me into what they believe I could become because "their" idea of greatness may not be "my" idea of greatness. Be supportive and understanding as well as loyal. Hopefully this person will be FINE AS HELL but I have dated not soo beautiful beings before. So as long as you can make me SMILE when I wanna scream you good in my book!! Not many people can do that.
Well me personally I think you are only gonna get 80% of the things you really want and need from a man...I think you have to compromise at some point on which quailites are most important to you.... Me personally I don't think I'll ever find a man that encases everything that I really want in my "dream man"...So I think I will have to evaluate which quailites are most important to me and go from there.... It could be very well that I'm asking for too much I'm not afraid to admit that lol! But on the other hand men now-a-days are not really willing to give 100% anymore because they may feel they don't really have too because women's standards now-a-days are a lot lower!!!!!!
I think men are all over the place. They'll have an outstanding woman at home but they're always trying to see whats up with babygirl from around the way. Babygirl usually aint got shit going on but yet men will sacrifice what they've established just to see what's to her. Why is that?
Apparently the woman is not as "outstanding" as they would think
Well if that's the case, why do they run back with all the " Baby...Baby...Please". She must've done something right.
In my experiences there is usually ONE thing that the man wishes his girl had that "baby girl around the way" has. Most often its not enough to leave their present situation over, but it is a Sweet Escape. Maybe this other girl is always pleasant, or likes more of what you like. Maybe she doesn't think your dreams are stupid and a waste of time. Maybe she inspires you. There is a multitude of things that drive men to look the other OUTSIDE of the fact that men are dogs. I believe all people are dogs. Men are dogs and women would be the female version of that. Our only hope is to learn how to use your doggie abilities for good and not for evil!!
She did alot of things right, most men don't GIVE UP their 80% good woman for a 20% trampoline. We cheat yes, but in defense of men, they only WANT the 20% of the woman that their 80% good woman doesn't have. But just because a man prefers you to many others, doesn't mean there still arent things he prefers in others over you...
So are women to be okay with the fact that he's with Miss 20% right now so I'll just keep his dinner warm until he gets here?
If me asking my man not to cheat is too much then maybe I should re-evaluate my role in a relationship and consider being a lesbian. Who wants to look forward to knowing that he will cheat but he'll be home. Puhlease!!!!
That's why you must do what you do at all times. You never know when your man is stepping out. So to keep the playing field level, I keep a dip. If he's not cheating...then oh well, my mistake.
hell no airforce, you shouldn't settle for anything you don't want to. Your job as a woman is to be the smarter creawture and find out what that 20% is, if he still cheats after that, its much more than 20% that is lacking.
I think you should get what you pay for. I mean if you want someone to be a faithful caregiver then you be that. You shouldn't let what your man does affect your better judgement. "He" will never determine "she" and I see no purpose in cheating ALONG WITH this sorry bastard I have chosen. If I am not enough then he needs to find someone who is enough. There are plenty of things I WISH my man embodied but he doesn't and like someone said in an earlier post there is a big difference between having the perfect man, and having the perfect man for you! I'm not about to RAT myself out because my guy feels he wants to find 20 more f*cking percent. Don't choose me if my equation doesn't balance out. Do you know how many times I have had to solve for x in my marriage. Please I wish he would. He falls short in MANY areas but I am content in the areas that he overindulges in. There can be no way to stand on the saying that "women are not the whores men are" if we do the sasme things they do princess.
whoah Miranda, down girl, is your man cheating on you now, you sound freshly bittered...
Miranda, ALL of my arguments and breakups have been because HE's cheating or done got caught up. Should I think that my future man/men wont. I would like to believe so. I would actually rather it be true. But considering the FACT that they (men) are never satisfied and always believe that the grass is greener I just have my safety net when the time comes.
I do think that there are a few faithful men out here. Seriously doubt that there are any black ones. Maybe just no monogamous black Chicago men.
Whoa princess that is a bold statement - but not a thought never crossed. I actually started to think that recently before I was reminded of the faithful men that I know in my life now - male family and friends who are good black husbands and fathers. It's just unfortunate that I haven't personally ended up with one but they keep my hope alive. But I think if we really look to ourselves to become and expect what we so expect and want in a mate (and others in general for that matter) then we would attract that. Become the honest faithful person that you seek. A man or woman is going to do what they want if they feel like it and there is nothing that you or anyone else can do to stop it or change it. You only can control and change what you do and who you are and want to become.
Well then what's the purpose in getting married if you have that idea princess? EVERY woman wants a husband. i don't care who you are, how much money you make, or where in the world you live. The only women who don't want husbands are lesbians. Even they want a wife! I'm sorry that all your men have cheated or gotten caught up cheating why do you think that is? A man told me once the reason he cheated on me. (Not all men cheat, but they all entertain the idea) is because I was a bitch and he couldn't stand my constant sarcasm. When I saw the woman he cheated on me with, I was VERY disappointed because she was half the woman I was, but what did that matter if she was what he wanted? and no bitchplease my man is not cheating now, at least I don't hope he is, this topic just struck a nerve with me!
well Miranda I can definitely agree you are a bitch and you do have a smart ass mouth. If you are half the sarcastic broad you ar ein real life as you are in these chats...well nuff said. I agree with firefly, be who you want to attract. I never want to be the woman that was so jaded that she feels she has to beat her man to the punch. The best part about being in a relationship is BEING IN THE RELATIONSHIP!! Why bother if your gonna act like a single woman, just stay a single woman then....
What Women want:
A good man
Money
House
family
time
time to talk
shop
kids
time to talk
Soap Operas
time to talk
What men want:
Peace
As you can see, men don't want much.
The hell if men don't want much lick this suck that rub this bring me that can you go get this!!! can you cook me that!!!!!! can you buy me this!!! can we go here!!!!
They run back becuase they can! airforce 1.
Now knowitall, you know good and well after you rub this, lick this, you gon get what you need out of it as well. Rubbing this and licking this helps us both!! LOL, "Can you cook me this?", okay, to us that is the equivalent of "Can you lift this or open this!!" "Can we go here?" not sure what that means as I always use the "Lets go, or let's do..." approach. And all men want money anonymous, I don't know bout you dawg but I gots to have it!!! The only difference is my mates money doesn't impress me, as long as you have the ability to tell me no I can't have none, your money means nothing. My money excites me very well though!!!
I don't know if the Anonymous are the same but to Anon #1 If men wabted peace they wouldn't do shit to disrupt their household like cheat. Traditional roles state that the man is the provider so what's wrong if a woman is looking for a man who is capable of creating and supporting the family.
Anon #2, I feel you. Women do too often take these men back. I can't stand a cheater and I just wondering where are the women who refuse to accept the 80/20 ratio when dealing with men. I'll be by myself first because I don't turn my head for that kind of behavior. My heart goes out to the sisters that live through this everyday because their esteem is too low or whatever the case may be.
Like I said earlier today if me expecting my man not to cheat is asking for too much I need to re-evaluate some things.
Don't cha wish yo' girlfriend was hot like me.
Don't cha
Well airforce1 you are right but at this point i jus pray if my man is cheating that it is with another woman and not a man the way this world is going!!!!! I know it's sad that I have reached that point but a man cheating on me is not my biggest concern!!!!! My montra has always been "I don't care about the other girls jus be good to me" And I don't have low self esteem at all but the fact of the matter is I jus expect a man to cheat on me it sad but true :(
Knowitall I take that don't care about the other girls with my FWB. I can't give you a man my all and he give me his some.
I hear what you're saying firefly but it's hard to keep the faith when at work everybody has an office fling going on. While in church the preacher is hitting a member. C'mon This shit drives me insane just knowing about it. I can't keep a clear mind when everyone around me is on bullshit. It's virtually impossible.
One thing I've learned about men is that they have very short attention span and are bored easily... So no matter how much a man loves you he is gonna grow tired of you no matter how smart, pretty,rich,how well you treat them, how good the sex is,He's gonna wake up oneday and say Yuck you again!!!!!!!!!
I just got off the phone with a guy that I met yesterday. His approach was cool...conversation went well. But then he asked me if he can give me a massage by candlelight. Not to go to dinner, or a movie or to meet for coffee. You guys said the other day that my nose is in the air. What do you guys suggest I do so that I wont appear to be fabulous?
Why do the "traditions" only apply to men. So to answer your question of "so what's wrong if a woman is looking for a man who is capable of creating and supporting the family?" Absolutely nothing! However women have surpassed the traditional roles. At least that is what I keep hearing in this chat. Whats' wrong witha man looking for a woman to stay home, clean the house, and let the man be the King of the Castle? Ya'll didn't like that too much huh? All I ask is when you girls get respond, curse me out one at a time...LMAO!!
I suggest you go and give it a chance, if you don't like it, at least you tried right? Now save these questions for Fridays....
I'm done with being Corporate Bitch. I would love to stay home and drop the kids off at say care while I go to the gym and the salon. I would pick up the kids, make dinner and have the energy to lick somn' all night. You aint said nothing but a word H2O
H20 there are not a lot of men out here that want a women to say home cause hell that's what I'm looking for I would looooooove to be an at home soccer mom lol!!! These men today want you to make as much money as them so you can pay half on everything too!!!!!
You'd be bored within the hour airforce....
We all know that is a set up for some ass. I don't know him, therefore I don;t wanna get potentially raped. I'm not going to play with a possible lunatic. That's teasing. Why didn't he just ask to go for coffee?
I feel he just let me know what's on his mind. Im not on that. So Im about to follow my first mind and let his ass have it. I'll let you know how it goes on Friday.
These wouldn't be the SAME men that are intimidated by succesful women are they? So now the men WANT you to have money. My how the tide changes....
I think you're right, Lol!
maybe he doesn't drink coffee Princess!!! Girl go and take your "mind changer" with you....(knife, gun etc)
Princess I hear ya, it's all around us and we can't ignore when it's all in our face. But it's not hard if you just focus on you and stay steadfast in what you want and believe. But I don't worry about what's Mrs. Jones and "nem" doing down the street that's for them to deal with. I'm worrying about what's going on with me! Now if Mrs. Jones and "nem" try to step in my backyard then I may have a problem with them but as long as they are over there with that mess, I'm cool my yard stay clean.
No, those are the losers that want you to get a Cadillac truck in your name. They appreciate the working INDEPENDENT woman. Hell you can't shake their ass once they see a possible meal ticket...LOL!
Miranda just because you want to live out your Girl 6 fantasies, doesn't mean you can send my friend out as sheep against the wolves!! If she don't feel comfortable then let it be. Slutbucket, not every woman has to jump on the first massage table they see...
But that man eat.
Miranda statistics state that a wounded person is usually injured by their own weapon. With my luck I'll be the bitch shot with my own damn gun..seriously!!!
Princess a guy just ddi that to me too, wanting to come over for a massage and cook him dinner. Now that would mean inviting you into my house - my castle and sanctuary and I don't know you like that so why don't we just stick to the public outings for now?
h20 I said the men I meet are intimidated by me!!!!!!!!!!! I've yet to meet a man who has said yeah "I want my girl to stay at home with the kids" But I've met men that say "U proaly think you all that cause you went to college" I'm speaking on couples that i know they girls have to have a job so they can pitch in is what they all say!!!
Right, so considering I haven't known him for 24 hours yet, why are we already thinking about hot oil body rubbing. He ain't coming to my place so I suppose to be in his bed I guess. If I get raped the first thing the defense attorney will ask is what was I doing over there with oil all over my body half naked for....right? Then what do I say "the people at Talking CHit said go and make it do what it do" LOL!
when it boils down to it that's all we want peace in our home (and money goes without saying that's at the top of da list). If our woman is distrubing the peace, then we will seek it elsewhere! Need I say more?
Princess if one more man call me and ask me do I want to come over and watch a movie I am gonna stab him!!!!!!!!! It seems to me that a man has to damn near be in love with you to take you to the movies!!!!!!
You didn't have to say that. Thanks for supporting the point though Anonymous. Because that's what ya'll do anyway. BTW the clinic just called your side girl tested positive for the herpes virus. Now explain that to your wife.
And princess you just met him and already he want you to come over and give a massage by candlelit? He need to go put that massage and candle in his back pocket and go sit down somewhere!
herpes don't live here, I protects mine!
aaight Knowitall dannnngggg!!! Don't get all "I hear you be the block but I'm the light that keep the streets on" about it!! What you just said was what I was trying to tell yall. MEN DON'T CARE THAT YOU MAKE MONEY we want yall broke asses to have some change!!! We are a TEAM right. and no "I" in team...LMAO!!!
you wanna come over an watch a movie Knowitall....lol
lmmfao @ h20
AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
aint nothing wrong with getting a body massage, it aint like if you get it professionally done, you'll know the family history of the masseusse! Gon get yo body rubbed..... LMAO.
And know it I didn't miss your comment about a man running cheating on ya with another man! That does seem like that is becoming the norm doesn't it? It's like gay is the new straight or something, LOL! I ain't mad if you like men whatever floats yo boat but don't be in my face and then know behind my back you dipping with De'Leon from down the street! But I feel ya on that one. I'm more concerned with that than being cheated on by another female.
Fortunately there are ways to tell...
Uhm please do tell H20!!!!!!!
Yes do tell, I'm all ears!
offline ladies offline, that is an entirely different topic....
k
Sounds like a question of “idealisms v/s reality” that confusion comes into play when we mix & match the two, which only adds to the frustration, thus leaving most of us at that proverbial fork in the middle of the road. Then there’s the big pink elephant in the room called “expectations”(which is consequently synonymous w/ outlook, potential, or HOPE) which is the most overrated word used in terms of relationships. One should realize that “expectations” as it is defined comes in variations. The assumed-expectations we put on each other is almost to the point of unbelievable and the weird part about it is 99% of us disappointment ourselves daily, but will turn right around and be hurt & hate another person for disappointing us? Its not realistic, pragmatic, or adult, to make assumptions concerning any ones capabilities to meet your expectations no matter what they said they could or would do? You are an experienced adult, use common since? Intentions & realty are not one in the same! Could you imagine trying to meet the expectations of everyone personal in your life and when you don’t meet them, it’s your fault their hurt? When you are only being what you were designed to be……HUMAN!
I know I tend to go long on certain issues, however, I try to remain completely neutral, objective, & fact based (personal feelings aside) Otherwise we are just venting, instead of helping, which is something I am sure we can all use, since no one person outside of God has all the answers….
Very Insightful Mello, and well said. This blog site was designed to maybe help people with problems that they may face and are too embarassed, afraid or shamed to speak on, however, a little venting doesn't hurt either. 80% of the time people already know the answers to their life's questions but need to get it off of their chest in some shape form or fashion. We don't mind a vent, rant or downright outburst, just so long as it doesn't go towards other bloggers.
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