Posted on Behalf of Firefly....
Some of us come into this world knowing what we want out of life and find every possible opportunity and possibility to make it happen. Some of us may benefit from those around us paving the way. And there are those of us who wait and wait patiently for things to happen - that may or may not ever happen.
What approach do you use to get what you want out of life whether it be a career, relationship, or personal pursuit? Do you go for yours, rely on others, or wait for the "divine intervention"? Let us know what worked and what didn't! Did you sleep your way to the top of your career? An advocate of affirmative action? Does your family open the doors for you? Whatever got you in the door, is it the same qualifications that helped you stay? Tell us we'd LOVE to hear it!!! Be sure to click the title link!!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
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Well here is my story.
I used to work for a collection agency. One day I was on the phone harrasing people as usual and I ended up calling a guy on his job. The guy told me that he had a check in hand and that he was going to pay the amount due, (which made me ecstatic because if any one knows collections they know you have monthly goals to achieve, if you don't achieve them in the alloted time, basically you are fired.) Anyways the phone got disconnected and as with automatic dialer the call was lost forever.
About 15 minutes later a young lady that worked there walked over to me and asked "Did you just get off the phone with Jack Sprat?" (Name has been changed for confidentiality purposes) I said "yes but our call was disconnected" so she goes "well he told me to give you his home number and please don't get offended because he said you sound cute!" Now at this point I wasn't sure if I was offended or flattered so I just laughed!
Needless to say I called the home number the next day, and got the payment. I noticed that he sounded kinda young and I was wondering how he got a job at the company I dialed him at. He said that he would give me the information on how to apply only on the condition that I come up there and go out to lunch with him. So I did.
When I got to his job, I realized that it was heavily secured and once you got off the elevator it was no where to go without a badge to swipe. Just as I was about to give up hope and white lady walked down the hall and said "are you lost?" So not wanting to get my new friend in trouble, I said "Yes I was trying to find out how to apply here.." So she goes "well I am the head of human resources if you have a resume I can take it." So I gave it to her and then told her that I knew someone who worked there, a "Jack Spratt" so she goes "Oh sure I know him I'll send him right out" (keep in mind that this was my first time meeting him face to face) he was BUTT UGLY!!! Sooo we went to lunch and talked and I flirted ALOT!! He went back upstairs and gave me the best recommendation ever. That was 5 years ago and I am still with the same company now! In fact I head the dept there!
I must say my sex appeal got me in the door, but my intelligence and attitude has kept me there..
Thank God for my excellent persoanlity and abilty to bullshit. I'm a great producer but as I told you guys yesterday, my training is in journalism but yet I've been in the financial world for 11 years. Math is my weakness but I make it do what it do.
I think that looks also helped me along the way, which is always a blessing and a curse. The chances that I've been given with the media and even in my current career and even getting into VIP at parties with my girls...I believe were made possible because I'm an ok looking lady. It's like I never had to work that hard to get what I was going for or to get an interview. Once in the door the sexual aspect is turned off and I beam my ray of sunshine where people end up adopting me as a play sister or daughter.
Looks fade so I'm workign on getting my own business off the ground now...LOL!
Here's a question I've been pondering...Waiting for the right person. Some say you shouldn't go looking for love because you might not end up with what you want but I've tried the waiting on love tactic and it just ain't happening.
Well Anon the reason why people tell you not to look for love is because when you are looking for something you almost become desperate to find it and you may end up settling for something because you are tired of looking, or you think that you're prayers have finally been answered.
Its like if you hustle it should always be PART time and not FULL time. When something becomes a necessity you always take risks that you may not normally take which places you in a larger margin of error...
There is no way to LOOK for love. Like the professor said when you do, your Love Life is based on what you think it should be opposed to what it really is.
I had a "looked for love" relationship and I was miserable because my feelings were pre-scripted. It was like okay to keep him happy I should fuck him, feed him and try to have fun with him. Our happines was a chore. But I forced myself to be happy. He was a GREAT guy but just not the one.
I met this guy some time ago and he's not my type at all but we have CHEMISTRY. My 10 year beau and I never had that.
Im not saying dont have fun but if he doen't send chills down your spine when you see him, it may not be love and you don;t want your relationship to be a chore.
no you really don't AF1, trust me you'll start to resent the person and essentially its your fault because this is who YOU picked to be with. I believe a partner should stimulate your mind, body and soul, if they don't touch ALL 3 then something is wrong...
I also don't think you find love...Love Happens. You'll know it because you begin to feel like "if this person lost all of his money, teeth and a leg I would still truly LOVE them.
That there my friend is when you know that you've been struck by Cupid's arrow.
Remember you can't make this happen...it just does.
EXACTLY AF1!!! See this is the thing, when you are looking for love you are looking to complete or fill some void that you think is empty. A good friend of mine told me that true love is supposed to enhance and already complete life not COMPLETE your life, because if God forbid something happened to that love then your life is now incomplete again and thus the cycle continues...
Miranda so many women miss out on dating THE LOVE OF THEIR LIFE because they are hung up on superficial things like cars. I'll date someone without a car. That just means they have to find a way to and fro my place. Im not a cab service but I will drive to the date.
The man that I truly adore is like 2 inches taller than me 5'8". Anyone who knows my track record knows that I go out with a lot of athletes. It's nothing for me to have someone 6'9" on my arm. It was actually a requirement now it's just a preference.
yes I agree AF1, but man its hard to be with someoone that you really don't want to be jsut for the sake of being fair and not superficial. I mean who are you being fair to if you really didn't want to be there?
aint nothing wrong with flirting to get ahead, if your sex appeal gets you in the door, you just better make damn sure that the door is one you can and wnat to stay in!!
See that's the thing I'm not very picky but I do have preference and I do know what I like and what I'm attracted to and it's not really the superficial. I feel like I need to move out of town somewhere to meet more guys or something! I also believe in waiting on God to find the right person for me but I don't know how much longer I can wait so I'm stuck in between just dating someone to grow to like, or continue to wait...and I'm getting old so I don't think waiting is going to be an option anymore!
God it not going to send him to your doorstep. The Divine intervention is you two being in teh same place at the same time. You could be going to Walgreens and haven't showered for the day and bump into your husband.
Im also not saying go for but ugly but when you meet this person you are not going to meet them for teh purposes of fallign in love. Again, love is goign to be what happens. You might date him for a while and think, nah he too dark, i'll never date a dude black as night (me on the other hand will stalk the hell out of a black ass man Hey Mr. NYPD...lol!) Then one day you'll realize that you are really into him and love him and he reciprocates that same energy.
In the words of Ke Ke...YUM!!!!
Well I'm a go getter so I'ma get mine the best way I can whether it be by my high determination, nepotism or stepping on toes!
I aint mad getyours!! Its a rough world out here and if you nice guys finish last. I won't compromise my morals but I am a menace to society...
In the words of the pussy cat dolls in the title link!!
"When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies!!"
it helps to have NO expectations when meeting people, get to know them for who they are and you just may find that the outlines you have given yourself to be attracted to are not ALL you are attracted to...
As far as not meeting mr right on your doorstep, well I met one of the best relationships I ever had right in my living room..
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