In everyday conversation whether it be in friendships, relationships or what ever kind of ship you are sailing, you won't always agree with the person you are speaking with. Do you know someone who always has to show you how right they are? In relationships, the cost of disagreement is higher because it can make or break your union if not handled properly. With friends it still holds weight but true friends can disagree and still be friends in the morning.
Tell us, is it more important to you to be understood, to be heard or to be right? If you have a person in your life that looks up to you sooo much that they have to make sure they are telling you when you have made a mistake just to make themselves feel better let us know. How do you agree to disagree, when all you want is to be heard?
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
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I have a couple of friends who have an incessant need to correct me as soon as possible. While I appreciate them wanting me to be correct in my statements, I don't think that it is to better ME as to why they do this.
I realize that I am not always right and as a mortal being I will always be imperfect, but I also believe when people try their hardest to belittle you, down talk you or just down right try to show you how superior they are, they really do admire you. Its like the teacher/student relationship. When you admire someone you are always trying to impress them.
I have some friends now that make it their business to let me know just how low class I am, because I don't make as much money as them, don't spend as much money as them etc. But if you look at our lifestyles you would never be able to tell that fact. I don't have to borrow money EVER from friends. I get by on my measly earnings, right now I live in a two bedroom house and moving to my second single family home. I have even recently heard one of them say "I make more money than everyone in here" ummm okay, but if our families pooled our resources together, my family would trump EERRRRBody's!! I come from money, generations of it, I'm not what you call new money, so me not making as much as some means nothing. I have always had money around me so there is no need to brag on it in 2008.
I guess in short, I would rather be understood, than to be right. Most of the time if you can understand my point and not agree with it, that is all I ask.. I have friends that tell me "I think I know everything" or "you always have to be right" but what really gets me is, I don't ask them for their advice on life issues they ask me...
Go figure....
I think there is a difference in a know it all and a person who deals with facts. I for one would rather converse with those who know what teh hell they are talkign about. On the other hand I am a Journalist so if I report a story, it should deliver the facts. Would you want to listen to a clueless ass news reporter?
There is nothing wrong with fact checking, nor is there anything wrong with correcting a person when they are giving out erroneous data.
It's all in how you correct a person. But no I wouldn ot allow my friend to look like a fool when they think they are on point.
I've been corrected before, and I referred to a dictionary to only confirm that I was right.
most of the time bp08 those kind of friends have always been secretly jealous of you. They "think" that they are better than you and for some reason envy the fact that you are happier than they are. Whether it be in relationships, friendships or just life in general. You may exude a happiness that they can never achieve so they would feel the need to let you know all the reasons why you should be unhappy because they are..
But you are still late, I don't want these people to think I like you!!
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BP08 AND MIRANDA HOBBS! Despite the fact that I am a bit of a knowitall(wink wink*) I have one friend who goes above and beyond to let me know when I am wrong about something but will never say a word if I am right. I think everybody has a friend that is secretly jealous of them or want to be exactly like them! But back to the topic I try not to always be right but I do need to be understood I don't mind being corrected at all but I do have a bad habit of correcting people. One of my closest friends and I debate about everything but it's all in good health she is really intelligent and so am I and we agree to disagree all the time but it has never effected our friendship we always agrue!
Golden ticket you'd be surprised at the hidden feelings people have for you. The best thing to do is check YOU o make sure you don't feel that way about people, therefore you can always let others have it for doing it...
OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH yes I agree you would be very surprised @ who is wit u and really against you!
oOoOo BP08 you couldn't have said a bigger mouthful!!
I have a friend that always tries to correct me, but it's not just me its everyone around her. It's like she just HAS to let you know how smart she is, or how well rounded she is. That shit makes me sick, if she wasn't intelligent I wouldn't even deal with her in the first place. I'm so glad I'm not alone in this!!!
oh no ANON you are not alone..
there are "look down their nosers" everywhere you look. Some of them are disguised as friends, co-workers, and bosses even. The only thing you can do is check their stories out, most often a windbag is not accurate but if no one is around with common sense to challenge it, they go on thinking that they were correct.
I have been in conversations with people and they have used their $10 vocabulary, and $5 diction and I be looking at them like did it take all that?
ALl I want is a friend, I don't need an attorney, therapist, or stenographer, if I did I'd hire one. Its one thing to correct someone, but if you are the look down your nose type, you correcting them isn't to help them, its to make your own self look good. That isn't healthy for either of you...
Miranda you're tired....
I also found that my friend feels like she has something on me because she makes more money than me but it's like I'm the one who told you about the job so you could get it. I know that she feels like she is better than me she even said it one time in a heated argument and it was confirmed right then! I still deal with her but I handle her with a long wooden spoon!
I like to talk to people who know what they are talking about too AF1, but sometimes you won't get that from everyone you meet. Sometimes people should be treated like Television programming. You watch a show for entertainment value only, you really aren't learning life's lessons from and episode of Martin...
I have friends that look down their noses at everyone I often think they look down their noses at me but don't have the courage to make it be known!
oooohhh Golden ticket I had a friend call me a second class citizen before, I look at our relationship like Aunt Terry and Maxine from Soul Food. Yeah you got all the money, fancy clothes, and all that, but I'm happy and so is my family...
there is no price tag on that....
and touche Miranda sometimes you just have to accept people for WHO they are and not try to turn them into someone you feel you will have to compete with later...
which is why I accept your second hand makeup jobs, and low budget hairdos....
That's exactly what I was thinking this broad has everything going for and she cannot find happiness to save her life!
ANON you don't ALWAYS have to let it be known that you KNOW something. As long as YOU know that is all that matters. The real problem is the fact that these people pay so much attention to the people around them to even notice what they are doing.
Again when you are looking up you cannot see the losers that surround you in your social circle... I have found that most often those kind of people let the world and its inhabitants dictate their own happiness. Like not thinking something is fab until someone else says so. Or going to this restaurant because so and so said it was shiek. These people are drones, puppets if you will, and can be easily swayed to the land of ignorance...
I think we all have different friends for different reasons like I have friends that are super smart and I can discuss any topic with them and then I have some friends that are really good at partying and etc we select each friend for different reason and act on the good qualities they have I know I do!
I hate you bp08!!! LOL!!!!
I must say though my mouth and vocabulary hasn't been as sharp until I met you. You have a way of effortlessly telling a b**** off so that she or he may draw his/her own conclusions on how stupid they sound!! That is as close to a compliment as you are gonna get, so put it on record because you know I'm gonna insult you in the next post!!
very true GT, that is what I mean by accepting people for who they are. I am not about to try to hold presidential debate convos with the niggas in the hood I kick it with. I'm also not trying to go jump a bitch for running her mouth with my office managers. People come into your life for different reasons.
I learn alot from my circle of friends, but they are sooo arrogant and so demeaning that I would never admit that to them..
I found in relationships always being right is not good at all I often just keep my mouth closed when it comes to men because they only appreciate the fact that you are smart on a as needed basis.
@Miranda, I deal with people for who they are and what they bring to a conversation. I don;t care if you;re a Harvard grad, if you're wrong you're wrong.
I also don't do extensive vocab checks but if you have one that's great.
Like I love to listen to you and BP go at it. You two can get gutter and you can also give well rounded advice and input on a lot of issues. I like to talk amongst people of your caliber. I can say the same for just about everyone who comments besides the ANON that gets booted everyday. Who would really want to sit and talk with someone that ignorant and negative. WHY????
The Anon that gets deleted everyday, I mean can you imagine sitting in a cirlce and
yes AF1 Me and bp08 have known each other for like 10 years, she often acted as a mother to me in times of need. She has been very protective of me, when it comes to friends letting me have it, or people just trying to take advantage of me in general. I have a great deal of respect for her and will always be a good friend to her. She's just a bit of a smart mouth but with good reason. She has been one of the most influential people in her circle of friends always loyal, always for them and the friends that she had have kicked her when she was down. Now that she is self sufficient she doesn't talk to any of them and I'm glad for her. I wanted people on the blog to know that when we go at it, its strictly for entertainment value.
I have a great deal of respect and admiration for bp08, she has helped me through some difficult times and her compassion and quick wit has saved me many of times. In fact the reason I chose this name is because her favorite character on Sex & The City is Miranda Hobbs who ironically is very similar to who she is...
I think in relationships you have to know when to agree to disagree. Alot of times people just want to be understood. Emotions are a tricky thing and even if there is no logic behind why someone feels the way they do, they always want their parnter, husband, or wife just to understand them.
Welcome Anonymous.
what!!! Compliment from Ms Hobbs!!! The world is going to come to an end!!!
But yeah its all in fun with Miranda guys, I hope we didn't inspire you guys to talk down to each other we weren't really going for that. W elaugh and joke all that time, it's habit...lol
Ad agreed ANON relationships and emotions are tricky. Sometimes its best to just nod your head and zone out!!!
especially where women are concerned. Sometimes with my wife I just shake my head and keep moving. She don't care if I agree as long as I listen to her yell!! LMAO!!
not all women are like that Daddy Mac..lol
name one and I'll name you a woman in denial. Yall don't really care if we agree, yall just want to yell, so long as we listen yall think we agree. MOst of the time we don't we just want the yelling to stop. Ladies men are simple, food, fuck and fun, thats all we need.
Golden ticket do you hear this man!!?? What do you think about this?
AF1 your thoughts?
OOOOOO Daddy Mac you gon get it now!! Miranda, Af1 and Golden Ticket, you bout done in here man!! These woman are ruthless....LOL!!!
I think a mutual respect for each others ideas and opinion's are needed to maintain a healthy relationship.
WELCOME ALL NEW BLOGGERS!!!
I think when it boils down to it everyone wants to be understood, whether they come off as always trying to be right, informative and knowledgeable - which to some can be confused with arrogance or conceit, or just plain misunderstood. Perceptions of people play a major role in how we treat/judge others. For example, to some people who I first meet, their first perception of me is arrogance. I don't get offended because I understand that I may come across as a very confident person. I also like to see the best in others so sometimes I try to get them to see a different perspective or point out another way of doing things - which to some may make them feel like I pointed out something wrong. But when it boils down to it we are all human beings first. We all bleed red, have hearts and emotions that go along with it. No one on this earth is more superior than the next.
Look here daddy whack! I want you to agree if I'm right! You smiling and nodding and holding in your true feeling are only gonna build up and you are gonna end up letting it all slip out in a manner that you can't control so if you don't agree listen and then give your rebuttal like this: "Honey(in a deep voice) I see what you are saying but_________"
OMG LOve Angel that was my song by JS and R Kelly....
"A touch of heaven from me....be your Love Angel!!!"
Sorry I got carried away
Firefly is that you!! WASSSUP STRANGER DANGER!!!
Welcome to the site Daddy Mac...
I must say that I do fuss and it wont be a good idea to argue with me so...yes just agree (not nonchalantly) as if you are truly understanding what I'm saying and it will be over with soon.
nawww GT, I know what works for my wife and she don't care what I'm talking bout when she mad!! LOL, Why I gotta be Daddy Whack? Damn H2O you wuz right!!
Good point daddy m-a-c that works for your wife but other women may not appreciate that. I never at anytime want my mate to think he's in a dictatorship comments questions and opinions are welcomed.
Yes who that be but me! LOL! I had a rough time staying connected earlier...
@ Daddy Mac...I told you... LOL
well baby girl (GT) that would be the only woman I am concerned with. My girl just want to yell it out. Believe me if I honestly disagree with something I gets it in, but I pick my battles, if its something silly, you can have this one, you right baby. and we live happily ever after!!
TOO Shay daddy Mac the same with men!
Put 'em on the BOARD....
Let's go WHITE SOX!!!!!!!
and cubs AF1 first time in 102 years that BOTH teams have made it to the playoffs!!
NYC does it all the time!!
NYC....GET A ROPE!!!!!
Can we just enjoy Chicago right now. Geez!!!
As a faithful reader I would just like to say you guys have grown tremendously. Although there may be a couple of spats here and there the maturity level is superb now it's like listen in on entertaining yet informative adult conversation keep up the great job you guys!
Hi Anonymous and thanks for the compliment. We thought no one loved us anymore with all the negativity we've been receiving lately...LOL!
We try to keep it interesting. Thanks for your support. Hopefully one day you'll not only read along, but share your views of the topic. Please....join us sometimes. Have a good day!
Thank you ANON, we do try, you just can't please everyone but basically this was started because several friends and I would conversate over our wk emails daily, It got to be so hectic that we needed a place that we could chat without our work emails getting bombarded!!
So Airforce and I had been talking about it for quite sometime but neither of us had the know how to ge tit going. Then along came Firefly, and within one conversation Talking Chit was born!
We have been going strong for at least 3 months (correct me if I am wrong AF1) and look forward to many more months of "Talking Chit"
I was actually enjoying CHicago my comment was merely to say BOUT TIME NYC DOES IT ALL THE TIME!!
GO WHITE SOX!!!
Is Dr.Grey around I could use some wise advice that can't wait to friday it would be greatly appreciated!
Who Cares about NY.
I care about NYC if its okay with you lady!!
A flash of light appears and out of the smoke comes a mild mannered man
Someone called for me? Whats going on?
HI profess I'm so fed up my boring life I was seriously thinking about just packing up and moving to a new city (las vegas) I want to know if astrologically if that would be a good move I'm an Aquarius!
Aquarius the air side of you will push you to do new things every day, but the water in you will keep you worrying about the outcome. It can be a good move if you do the research on the city first. Make sure there is a job waiting for you and housing. That way the caution and fear that water always has that holds you back from trying new things can be combatted with confidence! That way the air in you can be free to roam!!
Before you make a leap though, make sure that its sheer change of scenery that you are seeking and are not running froma particular problem or situation. Only then when you are sure, will you be satisfied in your move...
Hope this helps!
Oh yes sheer change of scenery is all I don't have any problems besides the fact that I'm bored to death with my life and I feel so trapped I need to free! Thanks it does help alot thanks again!
Always a pleasure....
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